Cartman's Passover holiday special. starring... The Jewpacabra!
“Jewpacabra” · Season 16, Episode 4
In this episode: Eric Cartman (3), Kyle Broflovski (2)
Ugh... what!? [stands up] What's going on?!?
M1Man 1
The plagues! The plagues are upon us! Run!
(it starts to rain frogs. Cartman runs away)
It's raining frogs! [finds Kyle, who is climbing to the roof of his house on a ladder] Kyle! Kyle, my Hebrew friend! Did you see that it's raining frogs!?
[bangs a nail into a piece of wood] Yes! It's because the Pharaoh won't give the Hebrews what we want! God is angry.
So God makes it rain frogs? That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle.
That's how God is! And if Pharaoh doesn't give us what we want, next he's gonna kill all Egyptian first born boys!
Wha- Okay, look, I'll talk to the Pharaoh and see if he'll change his mind.
It doesn't matter. Because God is going to harden the Pharaoh's heart!
What does that mean?
It means Jehovah is going to use his powers to keep the Pharaoh from letting us go.
Well that doesn't seem very fair, Kyle. I mean, if God is going to make Pharaoh say no, then why would he punish him for saying no?
That's just how God is.
You're wrong, Kyle! God is not a dick!
[Kyle gets angry]
Oh yeah, you're going to find out what's gonna happen!
Nooooooo! [Sheila and Gerald apply the lamb's blood to their door. Kyle watches them] Kyle, why?! What are you doing?!
This is what God told us to do!
No, Kyle! I don't believe you!
You'll see! [Cartman runs away but realizes other families are also doing it. He runs though the corpses of lambs]
Noooo! [goes inside somewhere, but sees two kids with bloody eyes]
K1Kid 1
What's happening to us? [both of the kids puke blood and fall over]
Noooooo! [runs past a mom and her child]
CMChild Mom
Don't let God kill me! [his head explodes and his mom screams]
Noooo! [he is confronted by a man]
M2Man 2
[holds out a flat sandwich] Care for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!?
No! The bread's all flat! Nooo! [shoves the bread down and keeps running] Noooooo! [the Pharaoh has kneeled down. All children around him have their heads explode. Screaming and shouting can be heard in the background]
PPharaoh
Son! We were wrong! I was wrong!
We were wrong! I'm sorry God I'll be Jewish I promise! Please don't kill me! Don't kill me! Noooo!
[his head explodes, and the Pharaoh cries in despair]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.