A character in Solar Opposites
Played by Mary Mack
Solar Opposites · 68 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Solar Opposites: in 27 of its 68 quotes
Most scenes with: Yumyulack (21), Terry (12), Korvo (9)
JesseOh, this is it, we're done. Someone's gonna find out we're big cheaters and then they're gonna kill us, just like they did with Lance Armstrong.
He wasn't killed, they just took one nut.
JesseWell, we don't have any nuts! What are they gonna take?!
I need your help moving fifteen to twenty rat women to a Red Goobler wedding, come on!
JesseThat's the most Solar Opposites thing I've ever heard.
I guess we're in a "There can be only one" Highlander type situation.
JesseWait, I thought that show was about a hot nurse who goes back in time to get her ass eaten out!
No, that's Outlander!
Since when did Jimmy Stewart have a gun in that movie?
JesseEveryone used to carry a gun back then. Shirley Temple used to keep one up her hoo-ha! That's what the song "Lollipop" is about!
Duh - everyone knows that.
Dammit, how did the Pupa get his Harry Potter whistle again?! Terry, I thought you locked it up in the childproof cabinets where we keep the poison darts!
I did, I did, I put it behind the poison darts!
JesseThat song is so annoying! Stop it, Pupa!
You didn't do anything for the Christmas stuff with this, Pupa, you're bad!
How does he keep getting that thing?! Is he, like, out getting help?! Who would do that?! He can't even complete a full sentence!
[stops playing the whistle after Terry, Korvo, Jesse, and Yumyulack leave the room] Merry Christmas, everyone!
[An orientation crystal projects a video featuring a Shlorpian general]
In these first moments of your mission, remember what is at stake. Shlorp is depending on your--
Ugh! Boring, boring, boring! [fast-forwards video]
Yumyulack, protector and head of security. You ward off any threats to the mission. Strong and fierce, willing to die so the team can live.
Let's put "willing to die" down as a maybe.
Jesse, the chronicler. Be observant. Record your adventures with clarity, both in triumph and defeat so future Shlorpians learn from your mistakes.
JesseWhoa, I'm like the J. K. Rowling of this pack! Crucio!
[A subtitle reads "THIS EPISODE WAS WRITTEN IN 2009"]
Terry, your job is most important. Because the Pupa will grow up to terraform your new planet, you must nurture him. For as the Pupa specialist, he is your responsibility--
[stops the video] Hold the fսck on! I'm supposed to be taking care of the Pupa?!
JesseKorvo says that all the time, Terry!
Yeah, this isn't news.
I'm not ready to raise a Pupa! I-I'm still finding myself! I wanna go to Cabo, dammit!
JesseOh no! Terry's arms formed a rat king and they sided with Gladwell!
How did you gather that so fast?
JesseBecause I'm young and adulthood hasn't atrophied my imagination!
Damn, you look thicc, Pupa. What's the deal?
He gets all backed up with the stuff he eats off the ground. Terry's supposed to clean him out, but he hates doing it.
[In the background, Terry enters the room, then nervously crawls out on all fours]
Don't let him hear it's time, or he'll hide in the crawlspace under the house.
[The table jolts as a bump is heard]
[muffled] Ow!
JesseWe could do it! Decluttering stuff is a passion of mine, like pottery or Korean hentai.
Great, it's all yours. See if Terry's retainer is in there - his teeth are starting to look like Justin drew them himself.
This is stupid! How are we still in the same goddamn line from last episode?!
Ah, this could take forever. That's part of why it's so great!
JesseHave we moved at all?
Not me. But I try to limit my movements each day so I can save energy, in case I run into Tim Burton - so I can punch him in the face for plagiarizing my whole tone!
I'm glad Korvo paid for season passes, so we won't have to watch a bunch of ads as we walk through the park.
JesseWell, except for some rides, which, due to previous rights issues, have to start and end with a commercial for Lexus.
I heard sometimes they try to sneak ads into the actual rides without telling people. Not that I'd mind with Lexus. [to the camera, while a Lexus poster is shown on their wall] Their vehicles are the peak of luxury and automotive excellence!
Whoa - Principal Cooke has seen some darkness. Now I kinda like him.
JesseMe too! All he ever wanted to do was play the trumpet, but his dad was a big fat piece of shit. Maybe we were meant to be here. Maybe today is about seeing people through their eyes and not how we perceive them. Maybe if we help Principal Cooke, we'll get out alive and with a better understanding of how a life not lived can crush a man's soul--
Okay, that is way too bleak for me. This isn't BoJack Horseman!
[First scene of the new season]
Guys, guys, guys, check it out, I got the original dartboard on cheers on eBay! I only costs a hundred thousand dollars! I’m gonna put it up…
JesseHey, I thought Korvo said “No more throwing metal in the house” after you got that butter knife stuck in his eye.
These are famous darts! Whatever Korvo doesn’t know won’t hurt him! Watch this… [accidentally throws a dart at Korvo’s neck] Whoa! Oh my god!
JesseYou hit Korvo in the throat, Terry!
Oh my god!
Go get the Voice Changing Ray… [Yumyulack goes upstairs] I’m sorry, big guy, my bad, we’ll get this fixed in a jiffy… [Yumyulack zaps Korvo’s neck]
[new voice] I told you not to throw metal around here, we’re going to be late for work, stop buggering about…
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Solar Opposites pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
