[An orientation crystal projects a video featuring a Shlorpian general]
In these first moments of your mission, remember what is at stake. Shlorp is depending on your--
Ugh! Boring, boring, boring! [fast-forwards video]
Yumyulack, protector and head of security. You ward off any threats to the mission. Strong and fierce, willing to die so the team can live.
Let's put "willing to die" down as a maybe.
Jesse, the chronicler. Be observant. Record your adventures with clarity, both in triumph and defeat so future Shlorpians learn from your mistakes.
Whoa, I'm like the J. K. Rowling of this pack! Crucio!
[A subtitle reads "THIS EPISODE WAS WRITTEN IN 2009"]
Terry, your job is most important. Because the Pupa will grow up to terraform your new planet, you must nurture him. For as the Pupa specialist, he is your responsibility--
[stops the video] Hold the fսck on! I'm supposed to be taking care of the Pupa?!
Korvo says that all the time, Terry!
Yeah, this isn't news.
I'm not ready to raise a Pupa! I-I'm still finding myself! I wanna go to Cabo, dammit!
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