A character in Solar Opposites
The homeowners' association is updating the rules again. "Gardeners need to have marked trucks. No RV parking in the driveway. All spaceships sticking out of houses need to be painted to match the trim." Are you hearing this?!
Solar Opposites will be right back after these set of... th-this set of subsequent advertisements.
[After either some commercials or just a brief black screen]
Now back to Solar Opposites. Unless you spring for expensive Hulu, then there was no commercial break and this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring. Good for you, Mr. Moneybags.
Where the fuck are all the dinosaurs?! What did they do to all the dinosaurs?!
Ugh, human battery power is so weak. Why haven't they discovered how to harness the power of love yet?!
Mutants?! There can't be mutants in a Christmas movie! These are completely shoehorned in - like that spider tank from the end of Wild Wild West!
Are we really making one episode just go into another, as if we're some kind of acclaimed television program like 24?
They're always talking about "brunch". Brunch isn't real! It's either "bread" or "crunch", you can't have both. Pick a lane, idiots!
You should be helping me construct the Earth drill.
I have to take the Pupa to the dog park! We don't want to miss the Labradoodles!
Oh, oh, is the dog park more important than mining nickel alloys so we can repair our spaceship?!
Uh, I don't know, Korvo. Can nickel alloy catch a Frisbee in the air?
We won't know until we get some!
Funbucket has to be real. He has to be!
TV lied to us. It lied!
Th-That's impossible! All of human history is recorded on the TV! I don't even know what's real anymore! Are submarines real?! Are penguins real?!
I don't know! Probably not!
I need to repair this godforsaken ship. And if people don't like us, that will make that job so much harder in so many ways. So to be clear, I don't need to be liked. It's strictly a work necessity.
WELL, I NEED TO BE LIKED!
I'm gooblering more than Zortex at the Camoodian Eve Parade.
Oof, whatever that means...
Why are your jeans in the freezer?!
J-Jen Garner had an Insta all about cleaning your jeans like freezing sushi!
How am I supposed to enjoy THE ONE DIET DR PEPPER I ALLOW MYSELF A DAY WITH BLUE FUCKING ICE CUBES?!?!
The only way to stop this infection is to inject the serum under their skin. But we can't let them bite us or we'll turn crazy too, which is why we have to use these emergency medical weapons.
[toying with an spear] We get to cut people up?
It doesn't hurt them. The cuts all heal themselves because of the sci‐fi goo the blades emit.
Lame.
But wouldn't it be safer to use, like, a dart or something?
You wanna use a dart? Okay, yeah. Go ahead, use a dart. This is way cooler than a dart.
Let's go stab some kids and save some lives!
I mean, how are we sure we're not in a The Matrix or a Matrix Reloaded?
Because there would be green numbers floating around and leather sunglasses.
[Last scene of season 1]
Ha! I knew it! None of that stuff happened! [Pupa brings his Harry Potter Whistle to the Opposites] What the! [the Pupa arrives with a woodwind thing] How does the Pupa keep getting that Harry Potter Whistle? I thought we locked it up…
How does he keep getting that thing?
Don’t everybody look at me…
You obviously gave it to him.
I did not!
Damnit, Terry, you’ve gotta stop raising false alarms about the Pupa! Your’re making me Goobler! I’m- I’m- Gooblering!
Uh, okay! Alright… [the Pupa changes color]
Wierd, he’s never done that before…
Pupa, stop that! Do you think we should tell Terry and Korvo?
Ugh, they’re already wound up.
But if he evolves, and kills all of us?
Yeah, right like that’ll never happen [leaves with Jesse, zooms to the Pupa]
[deep voice] See you next season, everyone…
Can you believe those weirdo British aliens pray every hour? Next time, let's just ignore the distress signal. Bunch of Jar Jar Dinks. "Mesa gonna hide from Terrans!"
[Jesse giggles]
Those Shlorpians were exactly the way we're supposed to be.
Sneaking out at night to dumpster dive for trash food? "Mesa gonna eat trash!"
They're basic. We're extra, they're basic.
They were not!
I'm honestly surprised they didn't have a flying saucer. They were like a bunch of ALFs: Alone Loser Fucks.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Solar Opposites pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Solar Opposites · 68 quotes
