Smallville quotes

Lois

Look, I appreciate you helping me audition, I'm still angry you didn't tell me how bad Oliver was doing, but you're here anyway, so please, don't make me wish you weren't.

Clark

It's okay, Lois. You don't need to get all worked up like you usually do.

Lois

Well, excuse me Mr. I'm-slow-and-steady-and-know-what's-best-for-everyone, this happens to be important to me. With newspapers on the endangered species list, news television is my one and only back-up plan.

Clark

Don't you think you can be a little less dramatic with this whole thing?

Lois

You could be a little more passionate with this whole thing. But not you, not mild-mannered Clark Kent. Do you even care if I get this job?

Clark

Of course I care, I bought a new tie.

Lois

Oh, well I bought a whole new outfit.

Clark

Yeah, you look great.

Lois

Don't do that.

Clark

Do what?

Lois

Don't you dare reassure me right now.

Clark

Lois, I'm only doing this for you. How else am I going to get that second date?

Lois

(Pauses) Well, you should have thought of that before you stood me up the first time.

Lois

(talking to the waiter) You got anything stronger?

Of course.

Clark

Last thing you need is a drink Lois.

Lois

Thanks Clark. You sound like my mother on prom night. How do I look?

Clark

If this were a prom, you'd be crowned queen. Your date's a lucky man.

Lois

Do I detect a note of jealousy in the notoriously nice Clark Kent? Be careful my date doesn't hear you. He might just have to take you down.

Clark

(chuckles) Like to see him try.

Lois

You know what they say: all's fair in love and war.

Clark

And what's it gonna be for us Lois? Love or war?

Lois

Clark, it sounds like you're asking me out on another date?

Clark

If I was, would you say yes?

Lois

I'll tell you what I'd say... (sees Oliver walking in) Oliver!

Clark

Lois?

Lois

Did you hear? The brilliant brass over at KZXP have decided to go with someone else for their morning show.

Clark

Lois?

Lois

After everything that happened, after Ollie and I almost got killed, guess who they've decided to go with? (She shows him a promo picture of Catherine Grant as the new correspondent.)

Lois

Apparently blondes test better with morning viewers.

Clark

Lois!

Lois

I'm sorry, I never should have tried out in the first place, or dragged you with me, and I just--

Oliver

You know, Clark, if you wanna bury me in the desert for going on that date with Lois... you could've at least taken me to Nevada.

Clark

Oliver, let's not...

Oliver

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna put up a fight. But maybe we could've hit the Strip before the main event, you know what I mean? Maybe a little Blue Man Group... maybe a little Carrot Top. You know, what I'm getting you next year for Christmas is a sense of humor.

Lois

I thought, you know, the ride would give us a chance to get past the whole kiss-and-run of it all and get to know each other better.

Clark

Better? You tell me the color of your underwear every day. What else is there to know?

Lois

(upon entering Watchtower) OK Chloe, you remember when we were ten and I kicked you out of my clubhouse for spilling soda and you said you'd just build a cooler one? You win.

Zod

I'm General Zod. And all of this is mine to give if you give me the names of whoever snuck you into the restricted zone.

Lois

My Dad's a general, too. And he still couldn't get me to spill how I got an M1 Abrams tank to take me to the prom. So I'm definitely not telling you anything.

Oliver

Five dozen roses? Wow. That's subtle.

Clark

That's PDA #5, not that I'm keeping track.

Lois

Clark, sorry I'm late. I was watching the monster truck jump finals, Grave Maker lost his drive train. He is never coming back.

Clark

It's okay Lois he's just a truck.

Lois

Aw Clark, come on that's like saying Tommy Lee's just a drummer. Sometimes I worry there is no poetry in you.

Clark

You just have to look a little deeper.

(off screen) At last, the apprentice heeds his master's call. (fires arrow that knocks Oliver's bow out of his hands) You know why you're here?

Oliver

(removes his sunglasses and hood) Vordigan, our pathes split a long time ago.

You took your vows Oliver. Now its time to fulfill them.

Oliver

You embracred me as your own son, but I can't follow in your footsteps.

Oliver

(walking into Watchtower) Anyone home?

Chloe

What's up?

Oliver

Nothing, actually. I, uh, I thought I'd stop by and see if anyone's hungry.

John Jones

I could use some dinner. Chloe?

Chloe

Uh, sure. You're buying, Mr. Queen.

John Jones

Don't look at me, I'm living off a policeman's salary.

Oliver

Ah, fine. Dessert's on you.

John Jones

On Mars, we never had dessert. But I have grown especially fond of cookies.

Oliver

Where are the other Super Friends?

Chloe

Still waiting for them to ring me back. See, this is why I keep asking everyone to come up with some sort of standardized trouble alert. The team needs structure.

Oliver

Is that what we're lacking? You're really on a kick lately. Personal phone conversations... bank records... Amazon wish list.

Chloe

Big sister's watching.

Oliver

Is that my e-mail? Chloe, I'll have you know that those messages between me and Canary were purely platonic.

Chloe

Can we skip your virtual love life and actually focus on the job here?

I hate waiting.

You like talking. Shut up.

Why did they pair us up together?

I requested it, so I could keep you in line.

What, you're my chaperone?

Think of me as your parole officer... but with a mace.

(after Clark states that none of them are bad guys) You sure about that Clark? Winged Wonder here threw me through a window.

I hope I didn't make you cry.

Drop the mace, Conan.

I will, on your head.

(walking towards Hawkman) Bring it, Big Bird. Just remember you started it.

I'll finish it.