HDHolly Day
Are you a man, Richard?
What? [she slaps him]
HHolly
Are you a man, or are you just a little puppy-dog who does tricks for cookie-treats?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I would've cut my throat, but you're not allowed to do that in front of subscribers.
JCJack Crew
I have to do it. I'm an actor, and it's Hamlet. What am I gonna do, walk away? I'd feel like a loser my whole life.
KMKate McNab
So you're afraid to do it, but you know you have to, and if you don't, you won't be able to live with yourself.
JJack
Yes!
KKate
Well, I think you can use that onstage.
You stay in the theater because you don't wanna starve to death? Now that is irony.
[Geoffrey is preparing a nervous Jack for his first performance as Hamlet.]
Well, forget about perfection! There's nothing more boring than perfection! Imprecision. Fear. This is what gets them to their feet.
I wanted to throttle a swan. It...seemed sensible at the time.
[singing] Call me superstitious or cowardly or weak, but I'll never play a character whose name one dare not speak. I'll play Hamlet in doublet and hose or either of the Dromios but, sorry, I won't play Mackers. I'll play Richard the Third with a hump and wig, or Henry the Eighth (that selfish pig) but, sorry, I don't do Mackers. Every soul who plays this role risks injury or death, I'd rather sweep the bloody stage than ever do Mac-you-know-who. So gimme King Lear, Cleopatra, Romeo, Juliet, doesn't mattra – I'll play them all for free. But I'd be crackers to take on Mackers. You see, I'm skittish about the Scottish tragedy. (Och, aye.)
I'm not talking about people. I hate people just as much as you!
What the hell are we going to do? I mean, I know what I'm going to have to do. I'm going to have to go to the Minister of Culture and beg for money like some kind of blind hurdler.
I don't believe this! Oliver Welles is dead! I poured him in the river and swans ate him! What do I have to do to get this man out of my life?
Is something bothering you?
They want me to do Macbeth.
Damn it!
Why does that bother you?
I do not like that play. It teaches us nothing.
It teaches us about evil.
No! It shows us evil, it's a portrait of a psychopath. Where I come from in Nigeria it is a familiar sight, I've had my fill of psychopaths.
[after announcing the new season] There will be struggle. There will be sacrifice. There will be tears, there will be the occasional fistfight. And in the end, there will be transformation.
There's not enough fear here. Actors should be frightened for their lives. That's when they do their best work.
Really?!
Mm-hmm.
That's just like normal people!
Mm-hmm!
OK, how would you advertise?
SSanjay
Richard, I don't use that word.
Advertise?
SSanjay
Yes, that is not what we do here.
You don't do advertising?
SSanjay
Richard, people are tired of ads in all their forms. They don't believe anything we say and it doesn't work. We at Frog Hammer ask ourselves very simple things. Is it wondrous? Does it move you? Is it culturally authentic? We believe that people are sick of being lied to. If you use truth, you can sell people anything. If you want people to react, to feel, to buy, tell them the truth! The truth is the new lie.
Fuck it. You're hired.
So Nadine's neck is broken? Is that what you're saying?
ACAnna Conroy
Yes!
We'll have to find a replacement.
AAnna
Yes! And her neck is broken! Which is much worse than having to find a replacement director!
Yes! I'm not being insensitive, Anna! I'm just thinking ahead, OK? Let's send her some flowers, alright? A basket - big. Let's pray she doesn't sue.
AAnna
Of course, because that would be truly horrible.
What? I'm not heartless! I'm just... I'm detail-oriented.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Slings and Arrows pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.