[singing] Cheer up, Hamlet; chin up, Hamlet; buck up, you melancholy Dane! So your uncle is a cad who murdered Dad and married Mum. That's really no excuse to be as glum as you've become! So wise up, Hamlet; rise up, Hamlet; perk up and sing a new refrain. Your incessant monologizing fills the castle with ennui. Your antic disposition is embarrassing to see. And by the way, you sulky brat, the answer is to be! You're driving poor Ophelia insane. So shut up, you rogue and peasant; grow up, it's most unpleasant; cheer up, you melancholy Dane!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
AAndy
Go for it, man.
“Go for it, man!” These are the words a director likes to hear.
What’s the point with having sheep if there’s no bleating? Where’s the charm in that?
[Geoffrey is being evicted from his theater after not paying rent.]
OOwner
No! I do not want any trouble! You are crazy! Please.
CCheryl
He’s not crazy.
Not anymore.
OOwner
You attacked me with a knife!
Oh, that was a prop.
Anna, I can't comfort you. I'm on hold.
[Ellen is talking to Sloan about the death of Oliver Welles.]
I always thought he'd grow old and die in the arms of some Jamaican cabana boy. But no, he got run over by a pig truck. Oh God. And I'm alone, just me and my dehydrated chameleon.
KMKate McNab
So, so what's going to happen to Hamlet?
Hamlet will be Hamlet: An ineffable tragedy of the human spirit that still resonates, even today.
SSpeaker
It looks a bit like The Boys From Syracuse up here.
[Trying to explain Oliver's will]
I assure you I don't want to do anything weird with the head. As a matter of fact it was Oliver himself who requested that his flesh be removed, and that his skull be used in all future productions of Hamlet. So, you see, it's not weird, and, in fact, it is notarized.
ACAnna Conroy
[holding Oliver's skull] It's not that heavy at all!
It's much lighter without the ego.
[Geoffrey is in jail after engaging a rival director in a duel.]
GGuard
Are you a suicide risk?
Isn't everybody?
Darren, let me take you to breakfast and we can discuss the incident.
You make it sound like an ill-timed fart. I was stabbed! For the love of God!
Darren, everybody cries when they get stabbed. There's no shame in that.
[Geoffrey is announcing that he is going to take over production of Hamlet.]
My reason may very well be hanging by a thread. Well, my friends, it is my belief that the best things happen just before the thread snaps.
I think I'll go to Berlin. They understand me there.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Slings and Arrows pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.