The world is ending out there, and people are just getting cosmetic surgery and watching debutantes get screwed up the ass.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
The greenhouse effect will definitely come to pass if we start to burn coal as oil supplies dwindle over the next twenty years, but I don't think even we could be that stupid!
David, you can take a little more time off.
Four days of daytime TV is my personal limit, okay? If I see another triumph over weight loss, I think I'll kill myself!
Javier, I'm gay. I have a boyfriend. I sleep with men, okay? I have a lot of sex, and it's really, really gay.
CCeleste
[to Keith] Why didn't you tell me you were gay, bitch?
[on phone with Keith] Sorry to bother you. And if anybody gets mad, just tell them your wife is on her woman's time. They'll feel bad for you that I'm such a bitch when I'm on the rag. Good night!
I don't need my baby sister baby-sitting me any more!
I don't understand what's changed.
Nothing's changed. Part of me thinks this is what I want and part of me thinks it isn't, but … what if the part who thinks it isn't feels that way because I'm scared?
It's so much easier to be gay.
Oh no!
Yeah, I'd have a really defined subculture.
Overrated!
We're both women, I'd have some idea of what she was thinking and feeling.
Not necessarily.
I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar sex organs.
They're all unfamiliar unless they're yours.
If you have no interest in the past and you don't read history, how can you possibly comprehend the present?
George, history is not what really happened. History is some stupid war-mongering patriarchal idea of what happened! Who gives a shit about that?
[to George] I'm your seventh spouse. How much more warning do I need?
CCeleste
I don't get fucked in the ass.
That makes one of us.
I slept with Celeste.
Okay, bullshit. Celeste is a woman … [confused] isn't she?
[as the Death Man] Nobody stays!
Life is a series of accidents.
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