Claire Fisher quotes from Six Feet Under

Russell

Why are you looking at me like I'm some kind of retard?

Claire

Because I swear, Russell, sometimes you are. And for your information, labia are not internal organs.

Billy

What's going on with you?

Claire

l don't know. l guess l'm depressed. l don't think it's clinical, but l just can't seem to have a normal healthy relationship with another person.

Billy

Right. Get in line. Nobody has normal healthy relationships. My theory, which l have yet to put into practice, is to pick someone slightly less crazier than you are.

Claire

Society propagates this vision of people hooking up and staying together forever. ln reality, how often does that actually happen?

Claire

Jesus Christ, Mom, will you stop cleaning and talk to me?

Ruth

No. This isn't the time, and there's nothing to say.

Claire

Don't you think that it's significant that whenever I make a decision for myself, you hate me?

Ruth

I don't hate you, I hate your choices.

Claire

Look at me! I am an adult, and my choices are none of your business! You had no right to call that lawyer! Dad loved me. He wanted me to be happy. That's why he left me the money.

Ruth

He did not intend to finance you while you play house with a crazy person!

Claire

Look who's talking!

Ruth

He wanted you to be educated, to learn, to go to college!

Claire

I am learning from life! You don't even know what college is. You never went and that was your choice and now you hate yourself for it, so you're gonna take it out on me!

Ruth

That is not true!

Claire

Then stop being such a controlling bitch and give me my money! [Ruth raises her hand to slap Claire.] I will hit you back this time! Billy and I are moving to Spain, and you can't stop us!

Ruth

Get out of my house!

Claire

So then I called the bank and they said that there had been no money deposited. Can you fix this, please? I have to get a new camera.

Claire, you're not enrolled in college this quarter.

Claire

Who told you that?

Your mother. You should've told me yourself.

Claire

I'm taking some time off. So what?

So you can't access the funds. I'm sorry.

Claire

I beg your pardon. That is my money. My father gave it to me!

He set up a trust to pay for your education, not to support your lifestyle outside of the classroom.

Claire

It is not my lifestyle! It is my life, and I am learning more now than I ever did in that pretentious art barn!

You know you don't inherit free and clear until you're twenty-five. The language is very specific.

Claire

This is just like bureaucratic bullshit, and how am I supposed to move to Europe and fucking ripen when you won't even give me my money?

Your mother and I discussed this. We feel that it is in your best interest.

Claire

You don't even know me!

Claire

Did you stop taking your medication?

Billy

Yeah! But that's a good thing.

Claire

Why?

Billy

Because, Claire... okay, I'm sick of feeling like I am living every moment inside a giant Xeroxed fucking cotton ball.

What's the matter, Claire? Is it Kirsten? Is she being a butt?

Claire

Oh no, it's not that, it's just these pantyhose.

Oh. Do you have a run? 'Cause I have a little clear polish you can put on it …

Claire

No, no, it's not that. It's just they're squeezing against my entire torso and I feel like I can't even breathe. I mean, none of this work would even seem that hard if I didn't feel like I was sitting in a torture chamber all day.

Maybe you should try a different brand. Mine energize me.

Claire

No, it's not the brand. I mean, they're all the same, it's … I mean, I don't understand how having your legs sheathed in this, like, smooth plastic Barbie leg, like, encased in a sausage casing would help you do your job better. I mean, doesn't it seem sexist that it's a regulation only for women?

Men have to wear ties.

Claire

Right, but they don't suffocate you … and it's not on their penis.

I'm gonna go wash out some mugs.

Claire

[singing] Adrift on the water/could it be actually/wearing these clothes/I've never been/this fucking uncomfortable/Never again to wear pantyhose.../'Cause you ride up my thighs/You're tight on my ass/You climb up my crotch/You ruin my day/And fill my soul/You fill my soul with hate/It can't be right/when they feel so tight.../'Cause you and you and you/all of you...

Claire?

Claire

[singing] Ride up my thighs.

Claire? Is my music too loud? Do you need me to turn it down?

Claire

Oh, yeah, maybe a little. Thanks.

David

You could've dressed.

Claire

I couldn't.

David

The rest of us managed.

Claire

The rest of you win.

Claire

Dozens of fucking Iraqis are still dying every day, the whole world hates us for going in there in the first place, and terrorists are still gonna be blowing shit up in this country for the next hundred years! And the best thing she could think of to do about it is put that sticker on that enormous shitbox!

David

[to Ted] Take her inside!

Rico

[to Mrs. Duncan while ushering her to the SUV away from Claire] There has been a death in the family recently. I am so, so sorry.

Claire

[running up to Mrs. Duncan's daughter] You know, they still bring the wounded soldiers back at night, so the press can't even film it and nobody sees. American soldiers are still getting fucked up every day, and they don't even tell us. [Mrs. Duncan's daughter runs in the car to get away.] So it's all so you could put gas in this enormous fucking car of yours to keep everybody feeling really fucking American! Such a bunch of shit!

Rico

Claire, shut the hell up! Her brother just died, damn it!

Claire

[quietly] I'm sorry.

Claire

Why did you have to die? It really sucks. Everything's unraveling since you're gone.

Nate

That's not true.

Claire

It feels that way. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much!

Nate

I miss you, too.

Claire

You know how I always used to tell you you weren't Dad, after Dad died? It was such a waste of time thinking that way.

Nate

No, it's just part of how you dealt with it. It kept you from missing Dad so much.

Claire

No, it kept me from ever knowing you as much as I really could have, and now you are so completely fucking gone! It's just …

Nate

Claire –

Claire

What? It sucks!

Nate

Stop listening to the static.

Claire

What the fuck does that mean?

Nate

Nothing. It just means that everything in the world is like this transmission, making its way across the dark. But everything – death, life, everything – it's all completely suffused with static. [makes static sounds] You know? But if you listen to the static too much, it fucks you up.

Claire

Are you high?

Nate

I am actually, yeah, quite high.

Claire? Hi, this is Gavin at New Image. And I hate to be the one to tell you this, but New Image has been bought by stock options and they're consolidating their operations, and … well, they're in Chicago, so I hope you haven't headed out here yet. Sorry.

Nate

Aw, who cares? Go anyway.

Claire

What, are you crazy? I'm gonna move to New York City without a job?

Nate

Mom gave you the money. You're gonna land somewhere. You'll be fine. You're talented, you're smart. You're ready.

Claire

What if I'm not?

Nate

Claire, you want to know a secret? I spent my whole life being scared. Scared of not being ready, of not being right of not being who I should be. And where did it get me?

Claire

What should I tell everyone tonight?

Nate

Nothing! You can't stay here!

Claire

What, do you mean seriously?

Claire

Mom.

Ruth

My sweet baby girl … don't let them work you too hard at your new job.

Claire

I won't. Mom, I really hope you can come and visit.

Ruth

I'll try. Oh, Claire. I pray you'll be filled with hope for as long as you possibly can.

Claire

Thank you for everything and thank you for giving me life.

Ruth

You gave me life.

Claire

Oh, my God, I don't wanna go.

Claire

Oh, I wanna take a picture of everyone.

Nate

You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone.