Derek Taylor quotes from Silver Spoons

Derek

Come on, Rick - if we can't laugh at the humiliated, who can we laugh at?

Derek

You still looking at that stupid picture?

Ricky

You call this picture stupid once more, and your tooth fairy's gonna need a wheelbarrow!

Derek

Come off it, creep-face! You told me you were gonna go live with your father and you'd never have to come back here again. Well you're here, just like I told ya... He probably took one look at you and threw you out, just like your mother did.

Ricky

You know, Derek, now I see why all your gerbils commit suicide!

Ricky

Why aren't you in military school? They finally kick you out?

Derek

Yeah. They got mad 'cause I took a look at Colonel Baxter's wife.

Ricky

What's so bad about that?

Derek

She was in the shower at the time.

Ricky

Derek, the lady is 74 years old!

Derek

It was still worth it.

Ricky

That wasn't funny, Derek.

Derek

Maybe not to you, but from this side of the headstone, it was hilarious.

Edward

Playing an instrument is the sign of strength, not weakness. Personally, I'm very proud of Rick that he has a mind of his own.

Derek

I wish I'd said that.

Ricky

Derek, did your parents have any kids after they had you?

Derek

No.

Ricky

Think about it.

Derek

Boy, some nerds have all the luck.

Ricky

What are you talking about?

Derek

Don't you realize what's going on here? Kate's got the hots for you.

Ricky

Derek, I think your athlete's foot has finally spread to your brain.

Ricky

You know, we don't stand a chance of pulling this off.

Derek

Sure we do! Look, the deal is that you stay there ten minutes, just long enough for me to collect my bet... and then you can pretend you have a headache, and you can leave.

Ricky

I've got news for ya... I've already got a headache.

Derek

Hold still a second.

Derek

You're supposed to use socks, not balloons.

Ricky

Sorry. I'm a little new at this.

Derek

What's the problem?

Ricky

Well, for one thing, she's blackmailing me.

Derek

Really? Wow... beauty, brains, and a great personality!

Derek

I wanna talk to you about our partnership.

Ricky

Partnership?

Derek

Relax. Don't have a cow. Let's face it. J.T. and Lisa are strictly bush league. But you and me, we're like Baskin and Robbins, Sears and Roebuck, Montgomery and Ward.

Ricky

No, Derek. We're more like Lincoln and Booth.