A character in Silver Spoons
Played by Joel Higgins
Silver Spoons · 45 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Silver Spoons: in 16 of its 45 quotes
Most scenes with: Ricky (12)
EdwardIf you're ever in any kind of trouble, no matter how bad - whether it's a broken window, getting a bad grade... treason... whatever it is, I want you to know you can always come to me. We'll handle it together.
Pleased to meet'cha... . I'm your son.
EdwardSon? SON? Gee, I... yeah, but, but, but how? Ubbuh... When? Who?
Evelyn... Your ex-wife, remember?
EdwardHow c'n we have a son? We weren't married that long.
Well, it doesn't take that long.
EdwardI still have to punish you.
Look, Dad, that won't be necessary now.
EdwardOh yes, it will. Because I don't want you to forget that it's wrong to be mean and inconsiderate. So, except for meals, you will stay in your room for two days.
Oh, Dad.
EdwardSon, this hurts me more than it does you.
How can it hurt you?
EdwardI won't have anybody to play with.
Edward, would you care to go to the ball game?
EdwardWell... I don't know. Yeah. Let's go! [runs to the door, then runs back] Wait a minute, wait a minute. [He grabs a baseball cap and a glove] In case of foul balls. [runs out the door]
I'm sure it's just a phase.
At lunchtime, Dad, he even tasted my food.
EdwardWas that necessary, Mr. T?
Look, man - you hired me because I'm the best in the world, and I never lost a client. If there's a gun, I take the bullet. If there's a knife, I take the blade. I don't work for people I ain't willing to die for - and besides, that food in the cafeteria will kill ya!
Dad, I was wondering. Are you a monk?
EdwardWhat do you mean?
It's just that I've been here a while now, and you haven't gone out on any dates.
EdwardWell, son, I -- I thought it was important that I try to spend as much time as possible with you. Besides, I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me dating.
Come on, Dad. I wasn't born in the woods, you know. I understand when a man has needs.
EdwardYou do?
Yeah! Sure, I have needs, too. I'm just too young to do anything about 'em.
EdwardYou know, I haven't forgotten... there was a time when I was wildly and madly in love with you.
And I felt the same way about you. You were charming and romantic, adventurous... and you had great buns.
EdwardHad?
Our marriage was really something, wasn't it?
EdwardYeah. Six unforgettable days.
Edward[knocks on Ricky's bedroom door just as Ricky is about to leave through the window] Ricky?
[quickly climbs into bed] Uh, just a minute, Dad. I'm, uh... I'm wrapping your birthday present.
EdwardRicky, my birthday isn't for eight months yet.
I'm a slow wrapper.
EdwardPlaying an instrument is the sign of strength, not weakness. Personally, I'm very proud of Rick that he has a mind of his own.
I wish I'd said that.
EdwardSon, everybody has perfect images of the way they want things to be. Sometimes - a lot of times - things just don't turn out the way we want 'em to. There's even a word to describe that.
What is it?
EdwardLife.
EdwardYou've committed to selling 1,000 bags of popcorn. So, I'll tell you what... first thing tomorrow morning, we'll go down to the mail, and you'll sell 1,000 bags.
In one day? That's impossible.
EdwardWell, you never know until you try. But I'll tell you this much... if you work hard and earn that $1,000, you're gonna feel a whole lot better about yourself.
Okay, Dad, I'll give it a try. But if I go through all that hard work and don't feel any better about myself, your credibility is shot.
I did it, Dad! I sold the rest of the popcorn.
EdwardYou did? But how? I thought you were upstairs.
No. I went out and I sold the popcorn from door to door to door to door. I sold most of them that way.
EdwardGreat! How'd you sell the rest of them?
Derek's father bought 'em.
EdwardHe did?
Yeah. I just went and knocked on a door at the Shangri-La Motel and Derek's father answered. He seemed real nervous. He bought my last 88 bags. I wonder why?
EdwardWell, when I see him, you can bet I'll ask him.
Hi, Dad.
EdwardLater, son. I'm... Rick! Oh, son, are you all right?
We were worried sick about you!
Yeah, I'm fine, but didn't you hear? The Ski Patrol's looking for a lost kid.
EdwardRick, they're looking for you! We thought you were lost.
That's ridiculous! I'm not lost. I'm right here.
They just realized that the greenhouse is burning down. The firemen are trying to get inside. [glass shatters] They're inside. This is neat!
EdwardRick, the backyard is an inferno! Total destruction is not neat!
Lighten up, He's just a kid. Probably his first disaster.
I don't think this doctor and nurse were really in love. I mean, during the whole thing, she never stopped reading The Wall Street Journal!
EdwardI think you may have the idea. See, son, movies like that reduce lovemaking to purely physical, mechanical acts... and, in my opinion, they put down women... treat them like mindless sex objects.
Why do we get these movies on our TV?
EdwardWell... it comes with the cable service. See, I ordered the cable service because I want to see... recent movies without commercials. And to my surprise, they... they also broadcast these skin flicks! I-I have no choice... if I want to watch a decent movie, then I just have to order these... these movies at the same time!... Are you buying this?
Dad, you're a grownup... I guess you can watch whatever you want!
EdwardYes, I can, son, but I don't choose to watch movies like this... and until you're old enough to make your own decisions, I won't allow you to watch 'em either. Is that understood?
That's understood.
[Ricky and Edward hug]
EdwardLet's get some sleep.
Dad? Thanks for talking to me about this.
EdwardWell, thanks for listening.
And thanks for being so open.
EdwardThanks for coming to me and telling me about it.
And thanks for not grounding me!
EdwardNice try, Rick.
[sheepish grin] Thanks!
EdwardUh, son, you forgot to give me back my keys.
Would you believe I lost it?
EdwardAnother nice try.
Thanks!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Silver Spoons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
