Ricky quotes from Silver Spoons

Ricky

He scared the classroom, he scared the school teacher - and worst of all, he got a hundred on a history test!

Hey, man - I don't hold back for nobody!

Ricky

Dad, I was wondering. Are you a monk?

Edward

What do you mean?

Ricky

It's just that I've been here a while now, and you haven't gone out on any dates.

Edward

Well, son, I -- I thought it was important that I try to spend as much time as possible with you. Besides, I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me dating.

Ricky

Come on, Dad. I wasn't born in the woods, you know. I understand when a man has needs.

Edward

You do?

Ricky

Yeah! Sure, I have needs, too. I'm just too young to do anything about 'em.

Ricky

I guess you got my letter, huh?

I certainly did. And when I read that you had left military school to live with your father, I -- well, I shrieked. And people do not shriek in Switzerland.

Ricky

No, they yodel.

How I've missed that sweet, little sarcastic sense of humor. I can't imagine where you got it.

Hey, Ricky!

Ricky

Hi, Arnold!

Well, there you are... this week's copy of The Weekly Woodpecker! Check out the headlines!

Ricky

"Room 12 Gets New Blackboard."

Not that headline... this one.

Ricky

"Computer Whiz Kid Breaks Military Code."

Rather catching, isn't it?

Ricky

Yeah, nice job, Arnold! I think it's important for the people to know this. It's just too easy to get military information with a computer... But you didn't mention my name, right?

Hey, I always keep my sources anonymous!

Ricky

"This information was furnished by Ricky Stratton, who prefers to remain anonymous."

See?... Aw, Rick, I needed that story. I've never made the front page before, and my editor wouldn't print it without the details!

Ricky

Well, at least you didn't print a picture of the plane.

I guess you haven't gotten to page 3 yet.

Ricky

Arnold, you shouldn't have done this! We can get into big trouble for this, Arnold!

What trouble? It's a sixth grade newspaper! Who's gonna see it?

[behind the door] Open up! This is the FBI!

Ricky

That wasn't funny, Derek.

Derek

Maybe not to you, but from this side of the headstone, it was hilarious.

Edward

[knocks on Ricky's bedroom door just as Ricky is about to leave through the window] Ricky?

Ricky

[quickly climbs into bed] Uh, just a minute, Dad. I'm, uh... I'm wrapping your birthday present.

Edward

Ricky, my birthday isn't for eight months yet.

Ricky

I'm a slow wrapper.

Ricky

Derek, did your parents have any kids after they had you?

Derek

No.

Ricky

Think about it.

Edward

Son, everybody has perfect images of the way they want things to be. Sometimes - a lot of times - things just don't turn out the way we want 'em to. There's even a word to describe that.

Ricky

What is it?

Edward

Life.

Derek

Boy, some nerds have all the luck.

Ricky

What are you talking about?

Derek

Don't you realize what's going on here? Kate's got the hots for you.

Ricky

Derek, I think your athlete's foot has finally spread to your brain.

Kate

Where did you get all that Christmas spirit?

Ricky

Simple, Kate - I just thought of what Derek would have done in this situation, and I did the opposite.

I'll do anything, Mr. Stratton. I'm a hard worker. I may be small, but I'm wiry.

Ricky

Joey, Joey. Please don't call me "mister." Although to you I may seem like an awesome giant... I'm actually only 12 years old.

Really? I'd guess you're 10... you know, 11, tops.

Ricky

On second thought, call me "mister."

Ricky

You know, we don't stand a chance of pulling this off.

Derek

Sure we do! Look, the deal is that you stay there ten minutes, just long enough for me to collect my bet... and then you can pretend you have a headache, and you can leave.

Ricky

I've got news for ya... I've already got a headache.

Derek

Hold still a second.

Derek

You're supposed to use socks, not balloons.

Ricky

Sorry. I'm a little new at this.

Ricky

Why are you trying to steal my father's money?

Simple - stealing money makes me feel good inside.

Ricky

In that case, you've got a big future in politics!

Derek

What's the problem?

Ricky

Well, for one thing, she's blackmailing me.

Derek

Really? Wow... beauty, brains, and a great personality!