There's gotta be someplace else you can keep this thing. It's scaring away the customers.
I tried to get it in the house. It just wouldn't fit through the door. V, I think we can make some money renting me out as Jesus.
People rent Jesus?
Yeah, for parties and stuff.
Jesus parties? I think that's called church services, Kevin. Like Santas at Christmas, or Elvis impersonators.
I could work bachelorette parties, be one of those, uh, birthday strippers.
A Jesus stripper?
Look at this website. They got all kinds of people looking like celebrities they rent out.
[Comes in door] Hi. [Sits at bar] What is all that about?
The nuns figured out we were sending both of our girls to preschool for the price of one, so Kev has to be Jesus for their parade, only now, Kev wants to be Jesus all the time.
Praise the lord!
I thought you were taking some time away from drinking.
May I have a Coke, please?
Absolutely. What's that?
Well, the zoning went through on the lot that I invested in and Max Whitford bought me out of the partnership.
No shit? How much? [Veronica leans into Fiona]
[Whispers] $ 100,000.
[Loudly] $000,000... eh.
One, oh...
Right? That is fantastic. So you... what are you gonna do with it, buy a new building?
Oh, hell no. Fool me once.
So what now?
Well, I quit my job at the gas station...
Damn right.
And now I don't know. I feel like I got a second chance.
And a third, and a fourth.
V, I could have different costumes for different occasions. Wedding Jesus. Uh, Last Supper Jesus. Bat Mitzvah Jesus.
Last Supper Jesus? Well, I guess that beats getting nailed to the cross.
They didn't use real nails, did they?
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