[Scoffs] It's none of my business. She's made that abundantly clear. She's not sleeping, eating, showering. I wish she'd let one of you just hold the baby.
Well, maybe she's got that postpartum thing. You know, when girls go feral in corners and gouge anyone's eyes out who gets too close.
What're those, uh, things called that guys wear at weddings. The flower things?
Uh, yeah, boutonnieres.
Lip and Ian get 'em, right?
Yeah.
I gotta meet with the florist, figure out what I'm orderin'.
If they're walking you down the aisle, they get 'em.
Uh, and ushers, groomsmen...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, my daughter will be accompanied by her father as she ambles to the altar.
Her who? Oh, you mean that deadbeat that consistently fails to take care of his family?
I may not have been present for your first steps or your first lost tooth or your first blow job, but as patriarch, I'm entitled to my traditional place of honor next to you for your big day.
Then it's my traditional right to ask said patriarch to pay for it.
Done.
What?
Done. I'll pay. In money. Cash. Dinero. Greenbacks.
Well, you know, if you're catching up on, uh, Dad shit, you can cover my tuition. Teach me how to ride a bike. I never had a sweet sixteen. Could throw me one after the wedding.
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