Yes. I mean, I know I can't punch, but look, if anybody tried to attack you, I could confuse them to death. You know I can do that.
LeeOh, that I do. And believe me, when I need a blackbelt confuser, I will call you.
Played by Bruce Boxleitner
Scarecrow and Mrs. King · 230 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Scarecrow and Mrs. King: in 153 of its 230 quotes
Most scenes with: Amanda (116), Francine Desmond (20), Billy Melrose (17)
Scenes with Lee Stetson 147
LeeLeeLook, are you going to be taking me to dinner every night? I mean, what kind of agent can I be when there's somebody with me all the time?
A live one.
The hardest part about this work is the feelings. Lee said not to get involved. He was right about that.
LeeI never thought I'd live to hear you say that. Actually, I didn't live to hear it. Not officially, of course.
You're alive? You're alive and standing right here in my family room? Oh, you are! Oh, you are! Oh, I'm so angry with you!
LeeWhat, for being alive?
LeeLook, Amanda, no one I know would ever look for me here and everyone you know is out of town. So if you could just get past the psychological barrier of having me around, everything would be great! So where do you want me to put my things? Hmm? [He walks away. Amanda stands there.]
Guatemala.
LeeA hundred dollars.
Well, how am I supposed to know what the current bribery rates are? A hundred dollars seemed fair to me.
LeeIn this neighborhood, you can rent a city block for that.
Ooh, renting a room with no luggage. Can you imagine what that desk clerk must think?
LeeAmanda, get in the bed.
What?!
LeeJust do it, will ya?
CClerk
What's going on in there? Open up! What's all the ruckus in here?
Ruckus?
CClerk
Yeah, there's screaming and pounding and yelling. Eddie the alcoholic says it sounds like World War Three.
LeeHey, now look, man. Me and the chick here paid for some privacy and we expect it, so beat it, huh? You tell Eddie the alcoholic to put in his earplugs if he don't like it.
Yeah.
CClerk
Look. I run a nice, clean joint here. You got five minutes to clear out or I call the cops!
Do you know what it must take to offend that man's sense of decency? I'm so glad that I was the one to do it.
LeeI'm sick of being dead. I miss my apartment, I miss restaurants, I miss nightclubs.
This is probably very healthy for you. No, really. Real people do not go to restaurants and nightclubs every night, they stay home and make hamburgers and watch television.
LeeAmanda. Are you going to try to make me into a real person again?
No. But the exposure certainly couldn't do you any harm.
LeeHi, there.
You again How dare you break in here.
LeeHold it. I didn't break in here, I walked in here. You know, you should be a little more careful about...
Listen, you can just get out. Out!
LeeAmanda, I have to talk to you.
What are you, a salesman?
LeeNo! Amanda, you know me, you just can't remember. You have amnesia.
How do you know I have amnesia?
LeeI know a lot of things about you. Now, please, sit down and I will tell you all about yourself before your mother gets back.
Why does it have to be before my mother gets back?
LeeBecause no one is supposed to know that you know me. It may make things very difficult for you.
Who are you?
LeeLee Stetson.
What are you?
LeeAmanda, I work for the government. I'm an intelligence operative.
Are you telling me that you're a spy?
LeeI've never cared for that word, really.
Oh, my gosh.
LeeNow, please. Just relax and sit down?
You're a spy!
LeeGuess what.
What?
LeeYou are, too.'
Oh, my gosh!
Mrs. King?
Hello. Do you work here?
Oh, boy.
LeeUh, this is Billy Melrose, our section chief. And, uh, Francine. Do you remember Francine?
How do you do? No.
That's interesting. I've often been told I'm unforgettable.
LeeAmanda.
Hm?
LeeAre you absolutely sure you don't remember anything about me?
Yes. The doctor said that I might forget certain things that were emotionally complicated. Now, I can understand how I might forget the crash, but I don't know what could be so emotionally complicated about you that would make me not. . . .
LeeWell, we have worked fairly closely together, you know.
How closely?
LeeMaybe we could retrain her.
Lee, I'm surprised to hear you talk like this. Usually you're complaining because you have to work with her.
LeeI can adapt to almost anything.
The Agency appreciates your sacrifice.
Oh, my mother! What am I going to tell my mother?
LeeAh, this is a tough one.
I just disappeared in the middle of the afternoon, she never got my note, this is the worst!
LeeWhat if you told her that you suddenly remembered an appointment?
I had amnesia!
How did you find us?
LeeWell, I saw somebody try to drive a station wagon through a swamp.
S1 E14 Dead Ringer
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You know, this is my first real embassy party.
LeeWell, that's why Billy had me use you in this operation. You're unknown on Embassy Row.
Well, you know, I have been to a couple of teas - and maybe a reception or two but never anything like this - If I'd known, I would have borrowed a better dress.
LeeAmanda, you're a messenger.
Oh, well, that's not exactly the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.
S1 E14 Dead Ringer
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BLBlue Leader
Scarecrow, this is Blue Leader.
LeeYes, sir.
Where? Where is Blue Leader?
LeeShh.
S1 E15 The Mole
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