Amanda quotes from Scarecrow and Mrs. King

Well, it is almost impossible to believe my good fortune in having you drop into my hands not just once, but twice.

Amanda

Please, you've just got to believe me. I'm not the Scarecrow.

My dear, if I believed that, what use would you be to me? Do you think I could let you live one more second?

Amanda

You're right, this is your lucky day.

Amanda

Think of something, think of something!

Lee

I am thinking!

Amanda

Uggh!

Lee

Just relax, will you?

Amanda

Oh, sure, easy for you to say. You're not the one they're going to stuff in a refrigerator and ship off to Moscow.

Lee

No, I'm the one they're going to put up against a wall and shoot!

Billy

We have a man on the inside investigating.

Amanda

Lee?

Billy

Lee.

Francine

Lee used to play football, you know?

Amanda

Where?

Francine

Oh, at many of the universities he was thrown out of.

Amanda

MMPH! Mmph! Mmph? Mmmmmm. . . .

Lee

I hope you, uh, got all you came for, Mrs. King. (He winks.) Interview-wise, that is.

Amanda

I can't believe I spent the night in a bookie joint in a straitjacket and my mother will never believe it.

Lee

Amanda, believe me, we have worse problems than your mother thinking you were shacked up.

Amanda

Yes. I mean, I know I can't punch, but look, if anybody tried to attack you, I could confuse them to death. You know I can do that.

Lee

Oh, that I do. And believe me, when I need a blackbelt confuser, I will call you.

Amanda

The hardest part about this work is the feelings. Lee said not to get involved. He was right about that.

Lee

I never thought I'd live to hear you say that. Actually, I didn't live to hear it. Not officially, of course.

Amanda

You're alive? You're alive and standing right here in my family room? Oh, you are! Oh, you are! Oh, I'm so angry with you!

Lee

What, for being alive?

Lee

Look, Amanda, no one I know would ever look for me here and everyone you know is out of town. So if you could just get past the psychological barrier of having me around, everything would be great! So where do you want me to put my things? Hmm? [He walks away. Amanda stands there.]

Amanda

Guatemala.

Lee

A hundred dollars.

Amanda

Well, how am I supposed to know what the current bribery rates are? A hundred dollars seemed fair to me.

Lee

In this neighborhood, you can rent a city block for that.

Amanda

Ooh, renting a room with no luggage. Can you imagine what that desk clerk must think?

Lee

Amanda, get in the bed.

Amanda

What?!

Lee

Just do it, will ya?

What's going on in there? Open up! What's all the ruckus in here?

Amanda

Ruckus?

Yeah, there's screaming and pounding and yelling. Eddie the alcoholic says it sounds like World War Three.

Lee

Hey, now look, man. Me and the chick here paid for some privacy and we expect it, so beat it, huh? You tell Eddie the alcoholic to put in his earplugs if he don't like it.

Amanda

Yeah.

Look. I run a nice, clean joint here. You got five minutes to clear out or I call the cops!

Amanda

Do you know what it must take to offend that man's sense of decency? I'm so glad that I was the one to do it.

Billy

Assuming, of course, that the man who climbed in the window was the killer and not some maniac prowler.

Amanda

Killers, maniac prowlers. You know, before I came to work for you people, the worst person in my life was a grumpy milkman.

Francine

Billy, these are the...

Amanda

Oh.

Francine

Amanda. You're here. Well, I was under the impression that you only worked with us in connection with Lee.

Amanda

Uh, well, I was very upset and, uh, Billy was trying to console me.

Billy

Buck up, Mrs. King.

Amanda

Yes. Thank you, that... that helps. I'd better go now.

Lee

I'm sick of being dead. I miss my apartment, I miss restaurants, I miss nightclubs.

Amanda

This is probably very healthy for you. No, really. Real people do not go to restaurants and nightclubs every night, they stay home and make hamburgers and watch television.

Lee

Amanda. Are you going to try to make me into a real person again?

Amanda

No. But the exposure certainly couldn't do you any harm.

Dotty

Well, Amanda, I knew it would happen.

Amanda

What?

Dotty

My hula skirt rotted.

Amanda

I'm sorry, Mother.

Dotty

I have nothing now to show for my one and only trip to Hawaii. I wish your father had not dropped the camera out of the war canoe.

Lee

Hi, there.

Amanda

You again How dare you break in here.

Lee

Hold it. I didn't break in here, I walked in here. You know, you should be a little more careful about...

Amanda

Listen, you can just get out. Out!

Lee

Amanda, I have to talk to you.

Amanda

What are you, a salesman?

Lee

No! Amanda, you know me, you just can't remember. You have amnesia.

Amanda

How do you know I have amnesia?

Lee

I know a lot of things about you. Now, please, sit down and I will tell you all about yourself before your mother gets back.

Amanda

Why does it have to be before my mother gets back?

Lee

Because no one is supposed to know that you know me. It may make things very difficult for you.

Amanda

Who are you?

Lee

Lee Stetson.

Amanda

What are you?

Lee

Amanda, I work for the government. I'm an intelligence operative.

Amanda

Are you telling me that you're a spy?

Lee

I've never cared for that word, really.

Amanda

Oh, my gosh.

Lee

Now, please. Just relax and sit down?

Amanda

You're a spy!

Lee

Guess what.

Amanda

What?

Lee

You are, too.'

Amanda

Oh, my gosh!