[sobbing about why her baby won't sleep at night] Well, why won't he sleep?! I've tried everything, even the washing machine!
You put him in the washing machine??
No, Darlene. You put him in his little baby seat on the washer, and the vibrations are supposed to soothe him to sleep.
[to Darlene] Yeah, you know, when you were a baby we couldn't afford a washing machine, so I had to take you down to the river and beat you against a rock.
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