Rizzoli & Isles · Season 1
Can you tie the genetics of the monkshood in Matt's body and match it to the plant that it came from?
No.
Can you lie about that?
No. I don't lie.
It's not a lie!
Yes, it is. I know when it is. I start to hyperventilate.
It's a white lie!
[scoffs] It's still a lie.
You've never lied to a guy and told him he was good when he wasn't?
No!
Do you like this shirt with this jacket?
Not really, no.
So, you know, I never told you, but I'd be really good at solving cases.
Well, the forensic sciences can be quite complicated.
A little common sense goes a long way. I read so many crime novels and always know who did it.
Thank you, Agatha Christie. Stay in the car.
I won't embarrass you!
Thirty years of experience says otherwise.
Two centimeter singular gunshot wound, mid-chest.
I bet we're looking for a 9mm. [looks defensive when Dr. Isles looks at her in exasperation] I'll have ballistics confirm, I just like to guess! [pause] And I'm usually right!
[looks at a sandwich] Is this from the good fridge or the dead people fridge?
[smiles] Cold air is cold air.
How old is it? No, don't tell me! I'm too hungry.
Dr. Maura Isles: knuckle deep in germy bar snacks. I'm shocked.
Oh, I had representative samples tested. Bacteria count fell within acceptable limits. Do you want one?
It must be very complicated to be you.
[smiles] You have no idea.
I applied to BCU.
It's very hard to get into.
I got in.
Why didn't you go?
[shrugs] I wanted to be a cop.
What's the real reason?
My father would have spent everything to send me there, and I couldn't do that to him.
Did you ever tell him?
No, that would make him too sad.
[looking at a large mansion owned by the Fairfield family] Holy crap!
The castle in Scotland is much bigger. The place on the Cape is beautiful, too.
You could have been a Fairfield. How did we not know this?!
Could you stop saying that?
Whooooo. This is a Spyker C8 Laviolette! That's 400 horses up under there! I don't see these in magazines.
Garrett's here. He's always liked the finer things in life.
Yeah. He liked you.
What's your take?
My take is that you are the chief medical examiner and this is not your first floater.
It is my, uh, forty third. Yes, my forty third.
I've been a cop a long time. I know when people aren't telling me the whole story.
Jane's mad at me!
Oh, boy.
She thinks I'm being biased because I'm acquainted with the family.
Acquainted? I heard it was a little more than that.
It was.
That's not it, though. When you grow up like Jane you're going to have an attitude about people who, uh, are entitled.
That's a form of prejudice!
Where people like me and Jane come from, we didn't have a lot, but we had each other's backs. It sounds like to me all Jane wants to know is: do you have hers or not?
Excuse us, gentlemen.
This boat was found in our waters. It's a federal investigation now.
That's a nice ventriloquism act. [turns to look at the Fairfield family attorney] Yeah, I can barely see your lips moving!
Our tow boat is on the way to take this craft to our slip.
That craft is our crime scene.
It's our jurisdiction. Move.
You want kids?
I would move.
[takes one flute of champagne from a server and drinks a sip] Wow! [grabs a second flute] Thanks! That is good!
Le Veuve Brut.
Whoa. Can't get that at a 7-Eleven, can you? Man! How much?
How much?! I don't know.
Guess!
No!
A hundred bucks?
Maybe. I don't --
A hundred bucks a bottle? Wow.
A glass.
Really?! God, no wonder it's so good.
The pager's totaled.
That's not a pager. It's a glucose management system; insulin pump. She was diabetic. [looks at the victim's hand] Huh. Yeah, needle sticks. She probably had to check her glucose level about five to ten times a day. [leafs through a small notebook] Yeah, she kept careful records. Her last glucose level reading was over four hundred.
Is that good or bad?
It's extremely high.
Is that good or bad?
I thought you said you couldn't lie!
What do you mean? I can't!
You did!
Only one time when I said I'd finished my homework and I hadn't. I immediately went vasovagal. Fainted.
Maybe I should be a lesbian.
Aw. Well, wishes can come true. Frost and Korsak wanted to fill out your profile. I typed.
You what?
If it wasn't for me, you'd be butch.
You put my photo and profile on a gay dating website?
It's the best shot at getting DNA and breaking this case.
No, it's our best shot. You're going with me.
No.
Yes, Dr. Isles! I don't have time to train a female detective how to collect and preserve DNA. You're going!
[...]
I wonder what kind of women we would like if we liked women.
What?! Well, first of all, I would be the guy.
That's a cliche! Why would you be the guy?
Because!
Because you're bossy?
So are you!
No, I'm not!
Yes, you are, you're just soft and polite when you're bossing people around.
Well, it's a good thing you're not my type.
What do you mean I'm not your type?! That's so rude!
Mark Twain said the clothes make the man.
He also said naked people have little or no influence.
This is serious.
Maura, come on, it'll be fine. We're trained professionals. We know what we're doing. We've actually been undercover a few times before, so let me handle this.
Okay. Fine. If you don't want my help. It's like trying to dress a squirmy six-year-old, anyway. Everything's too short, too itchy, [high pitched voice] I can't walk in that.
Maura, we all appreciate that you dress like you're about to strut down a Paris runway. It's -- it's interesting.
Endearing.
Sexy!
It's fashionable.
Oh, so that's what you think? You think this is all about fashion for me??
Um, no? It's not about fashion?
No, it's not!
What is it about, then?
I used to sit at the Musée d'Orsay for hours and just stare at it. Do you know what I mean?
[sarcastically] Yes, the Rizzoli family vacations there every summer.
Have you ever tried to appreciate Euler's number e? You know, the beautiful equation that connects three constants of mathematics? Have you?
Yeah, I tried it once. [Korsak laughs]
I am in awe of what human beings can do. I am in awe of the hand knit channel stitching on this sweater. I am in awe of the artisan who molded and shaped this shoe.
[sarcastically] I cannot wait to see what you're going to wear.
We're running for a charity! Professionals for Underprivileged Kids of Excellence. We're a team!
Team P.U.K.E.?!
Yes, that is an unfortunate acronym.
At least you're not a hot dog. Or a mustard.
Stay out of this. Listen, I said I would do this because we said that we wanted to do something together, but I am not running as Lady P.U.K.E. Gaga! No!
Oh. I'm sorry. I should have realized. I didn't -- I'm sorry.
Holy, crap! You're going to cry on me!
No, I'm trying not to, it's just that my amygdala and my lacrimal gland have a connection that I can't really control.
Honey, there is no way in hell I am taking this off. I'm already running twenty-six miles with a camel toe.
Can you at least take off that baggy tee? Oh, come on! I'll let you walk up Heartbreak Hill!
Oh, I'm walking Heartbreak. You're going to have to do better than that.
Okay. Name it.
The next reddish brown stain you call blood before the labs come in.
[shocked] You want me to lie?!
No, I want you to state the obvious.
Hypothetically, based on the crime scene, I will determine if it's possible to hypothesize that a stain is blood.
I'll take that as a yes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Rizzoli & Isles pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
