Maura Isles quotes from Rizzoli & Isles

Isles

You're clearly trying to frighten me.

[smiles] I am.

Isles

I'm not afraid of you.

I know, because you're like me.

You okay? Come on, Maura, talk to me. He's a freak. He gets to everybody.

Isles

I didn't -- I did a lot of research into his background; his childhood. Maybe he's not wrong.

What are you talking about?

Isles

Maybe I am a little bit like him.

You are nothing like him.

Isles

I don't -- I don't know, Jane. I was a weird kid.

Were you killing small animals?

Isles

[laughs] No, but I dissected a lot of frogs.

That's different.

Isles

I just started to think about things that I never really thought about before.

Here it comes. There are bodies buried in your basement.

Isles

I spent a lot of time alone. I was adopted, my father was a professor and my mother she -- she came from a wealthy family and was an only child. I just realized something when I was reading about Hoyt. It just never occurred to me before. There was a lot of benign neglect. It's not that they didn't love me. It's just that I didn't ask for much. I don't think I really knew how, and the less that I would ask for the less time that they have for me. They were just very, very involved in their own lives and into each other. They sent me to boarding school when I was ten. I actually think that I sent away for the brochure myself. [smiles with Jane] They were delighted. I was really lost.

Come here. [takes Maura's hand] No matter what happened to you, you are nothing like that monster, okay? You're a little anti-social maybe, goofy, but that's not the same thing.

Isles

[crying] Thank you.

Frost

We're waiting on a warrant, can't touch the car.

I've been here twenty minutes.

Jane

Yeah, yeah, you're in a hurry for your latte.

Come on! I've got to get to work!

Jane

Hey, man, shut up! [looks into the car holding up traffic] Come on! How hard is it to get a warrant signed? Where's Maura?

Frost

Stuck in traffic.

Jane

She shouldn't wear high heels to a crime scene.

Maura

[walks into the scene] Why not? These are very comfortable.

Jane

I'll bet you can run in them, too.

Maura

[smiling] I don't think that's a good idea.

Maura

I sent the blood samples to the crime lab, but I have no doubt this man is my father.

Jane

Since when do you jump to conclusions?

Maura

Since I found out who I really am. [to photos on the table] Stabbed, shot, shot, shot. [twists ring on her finger] Oh, my God. Did you see what I did? He does that. He introduced himself as Mr. Selsi. That's Isles. It's my adoptive name spelled backward.

Jane

I know. You keep saying that.

Maura

He was toying with me from the start while he was staring at his murdered son!

Jane

Come on. He came to say a final goodbye to Colin, and he knew that you wanted a DNA sample so he gave you some of his blood. That's a guy with balls!

Maura

You're defending a stone cold killer!

Jane

No, I'm -- yes, I am. Uh, and I'm going to stop now. Look, I think that whomever killed Colin knew that his murder would draw Patrick out. If it makes you feel better these were all bad guys.

Maura

He said Colin was too much like him. What about me? What I do for a living? I'm around more death than he is.

Jane

But you're not the one doing the killing.

Jane

He's having trouble breathing. Do something.

Maura

I'm a pathologist. I am not a surgeon, Jane. I could make it worse.

Jane

[grabs a book from a shelf] What is it again? Say it again.

Maura

Tension pneumothorax. What are you doing?

Jane

[reads quickly] Tension pneumothorax results in death if not treated immediately. Oh, God.

Maura

Jane, I'm just guessing, okay? I would need to confirm it!

Jane

You don't have time to confirm it! Your guess is better than most doctors!

Maura

I could be wrong!

Jane

[continues reading] Aggressively manage with needle decompression to chest.

Maura

I've never done it!

Jane

Maura, please! Get a needle! Do it! Do it now!

Maura

All right. Get alcohol, get a cotton ball and tape.

Jane

I got it! I got it!

Maura

You look terrible.

Jane

Thank you.

Maura

You're making everyone late.

Jane

Even you would look bad if a bullet had gone through you.

Maura

Hmm. Laceration to your peritoneum and small bowel could explain the jaundice color.

Jane

Okay, you may not casually discuss my privates.

Maura

Three months. You could have read all of Shakespeare, you know? Learned Finnish. Instead you've become a platinum member of the shopping channel.

Jane

I swear to God, if you start cleaning I will kick you out.

Maura

Is that why you banned your mother?

Jane

Is that what she said? Did she mention that all of her OCD banging and clanking around isn't restful. Wait, Finnish? Like Finland Finnish?

Maura

You know, the stress hormone cortisol suppresses your immune cells ability to activate telomerase.

Jane

So you say. Mine are fine.

Maura

Quite simply: keeping your brain busy aids recovery. Mind. Body.

Jane

Mind. Business.

Maura

You are my business.

Jane

Hey. What does La Bode Truck? (Pronounces it wrong)

Maura

Five star french restaurant, brilliant nouveau take on escargot.

Jane

Is this okay? (Referring to her suit)

Maura

Are you out of your mind?

Jane

What? I'm meeting Jessie Wayde, He wants to do the interview there.

Maura

At La Bode Truc?

Jane

Yeah.

Maura

Le booty call. (Giggles)

Jane

(Smiles) What did you just say?

I know Jane took Lily's cup. Where is it?

Maura

Don't be mad at Jane. She just did it because she loves you.

Well what's your excuse?

Maura

Well, I have a bigger purse and access to superior paternity testing.

Jane

How is it that you can't lie, but you can talk me into spying on my brother?

Maura

We're not spying! We're not! We are gathering data to test a hypothesis, which is the first step of scientific inquiry.

Jane

Nice try. We -- you and I --we are snooping, meddling. We are sticking our noses where they do not belong.

Jane

Oh, my God, I've turned into my mother.

Jane

Any idea what the shiv was made of?

Maura

No. looks more like puncture wounds. The edges are surprisingly clean...something very sharp.

Like Jane.

Jane

What the hell?!

Do your hands hurt, Jane?

Jane

No. It's like it never happened.

Isles

[examining stomach contents] Bad news: undigested iceberg lettuce.

Oh, I should sit down. That is terrible news.

It is?

No. That's just Maura news.

Isles

Good news: undigested ground beef, but I can't tell what grade it is.

[sarcastically] Yippee! Can you tell what market it came from?

Isles

I'm ignoring you.

Isles

The foremost expert in forensic entomology identified the larva on Dante's shoe.

[looking into a microscope] What am I looking at?

Isles

The Asian Longhorned Beetle. It's an exotic pest. Do you realize what a big break this is?

No. But I didn't spend my life playing with bug larva.

Isles

There has been a recent infestation of the Asian Longhorn

Please don't tell me that they're marching to my apartment.

Isles

They're only found in this one area, Loyalist Park.

Wait, are you saying Dante could have been killed in this park?

Isles

Oh, no. I'm only able to conclusively say that Dante's shoes were in Loyalist Park the night he was murdered.

Okay, you know what? You are officially ridiculous. His shoes didn't go there by themselves. [begins to walk out] Come on, Maura.

[referring to the victim] Who is he?

Korsak

Paul Langford, 34.

Isles

He suffered what appears to be a single gunshot wound to the chest. [leans forward] Oh, that's a shame.

What?

Isles

Quite a bit of intra-abdominal fat. Belly fat. You know, it's linked to high cholesterol, high insulin levels.

I don't think he's worried about his cholesterol level, Maura.

Frost

Blood spatter indicates he was shot inside this van.

This is strange looking blood.

Isles

Do you see why I will only commit to a redish brown stain? This is not blood.

Well what is it then, Dr. Smarty Pants?

Isles

Paint. Yeah. I see flecks of avocado green, Tiffany Blue --

Enough, Picasso.

Tommy was telling the truth: John was painting yesterday morning. If he was doing that he couldn't have possibly been robbing a bank.

Isles

Unlike electrons, human beings can't be in two places at once. Some physical laws of quantum mechanics.

I kind of love that you know that.

Isles

You do? So you don't hate me?

No, I still hate you.

Isles

Okay. I'll work on hating you too.