(End of flashback)
We-oo! We-oo! We-oo! [imitating a doctor] Quick, doctor. Both of these buttcheeks are unrecognizable! If we want anybody to recognize this as a butt in the future, then we're gonna have to do a complete butt transplant, STAT!
STOP TALKING!!! There was only damage to the one cheek and you know it!
[laughs] That's right. We used to call you "The One-Cheek Wonder!" Dude, I'm bringing it back.
You better not.
Is that One-Cheek Wonder? I hope he's not trying to play punchies with cheeks like that!
(shows Rigby's buttchecks)
(Laughs)
(Covers his buttchecks with his tail) SHUT UP!! Don't look at them! (Runs upstairs) I'll win at punchies, you'll see! (Slams the door then messes up Mordecai's side of the room) Dumb Mordecai!! I hate you!!
(Offscreen) You better not be messing up my side of the room!
(Yells and picks up a phone book) YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!! (Throws phone book but the book bounces back at Rigby's face) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
(Mordecai is annoyed by Rigby's screaming. He then grabs a set of headphones and continues playing)
(Moaning) Stupid bo- (Pause) -ok? Death Kwon Do? (reads the page) "Learn kicks, chops, and punches in moments!" "Unlock your full potential today"? Yeeeeesss!
(Cuts to the Death Kwon Do Dojo)
It's a touching story, really it is, but I don't know if you're ready for Death Kwon Do.
Why not?
Death Kwon Do is all about self defense. But from the sound of it, you just want to hit harder!
Uh, no? Can you just teach me something?
Hmm... Determination. I like that. OK, I'll teach you some beginner defensive moves. All you gotta do is pick from the sacred text of Death Kwon Do. (Holds up a note book) Let's see, we can start you off with the Bicep Flex of Death. Or there's the Leg Lifts of Death. That's a good beginners move, or the Pelvic Trust of Death. That's one of my personal favorites.
That one. That's the one I want, the Death Punch.
(Shows the Death Punch of Death technique)
That, I'm afraid is not for beginners.
What? Why?
Because you only wanna use it to beat up your friends. You're not pure of heart!
What!? Don't call me not pure of heart! What about you with your crappy mullet?! YOU'RE the one who's not pure of heart!!
THAT'S IT!!! I'm turning my back on you and counting to 3 of death. And when I turn back around, YOU'RE TOAST!! 1... of death. 2... of death.
(RRRIIIIPPPP!)'
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Regular Show quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.