“Sargeisms”
In this episode: Sarge (10), Grif (2), Leonard Church (1), Tucker (1)
When you kill your enemy, you wanna look straight in his eyes so he knows that you're the one who beat him to death! It also gives you a chance to deal out some really zippy one-liners. Like, "I hope you brought your wallet, 'cause the rent in Hell gets paid in advance!"
(sighs) Oh, my god...
Or my personal favorite, "You just got Sarged!"
How 'bout a tasty lead sandwich with a side of Sarge! [He uses his shotgun to kill Grif.] Hold the life...and the mayo.
Dr. Sarge M.D. to the emergency room! Prescription, death. Diagnosis, SHOTGUN! [Sarge melee's Grif with his shotgun.]
A priest, a rabbi and Grif all walk into a bar, and I kill 'em!
[Sarge walks in and shoots Tucker.]
Hey, Blue, how do you like them apples? And by apples, I mean bullets; in your face! [Sarge teabags Tucker repeatedly.] How do you like them pears? Guess what I mean by pears; deez nuuuuuuts.
My favorite part was the part when you died! Encore! Bravo!
What's the deal, dude? I've been here all day and I haven't even been in a single shot yet. Why did you guys call me down here?
What are you bitchin' at me for?
[Sarge suddenly walks in and kills Tucker.]
Ow!
Oh, come on, Sarge!
Oh, I'm sorry. Don't let me interrupt all your fancy dyin' talk. NOW DIE!
[Sarge proceeds to shoot and kill Church.]
Ow!
Hey, Grif, hold these bullets for me... [Sarge shoots and kills Grif.] ...IN YOUR GUT!
Ow! I can see my spine!
Here, we have a run-down soldier, but today we'll show you that with a few simple modifications, you can make an attractive corpse. [Sarge shoots and kills Grif.] It's a good thing.
[Sarge starts off by killing Tucker.]
Dr. Sarge says take two barrels of this shotgun and call me in the morning when you're dead! Ring ring, hello? Is it you? Yep, you're dead!
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