As Second Technician and acting senior officer onboard the JMC registered mining ship, Red Dwarf, I have the privilege to advise that, you, Third Technician David Lister have been promoted.
Which makes me equal with you so now, you can't demote me! You totally screwed that one up, didn't you, Rimmer?
Have been promoted from Third Technician to Technician 2.5, making you under my authority by half a command point, still giving me the ability to demote you.
So demote me then, like I care.
Maybe I won't demote you.
Of course you will.
Feels good, doesn't it? Does your chest jut out that bit more? Do you feel a little bit taller?
I told you Rimmer. I. Don't. Care.
I bet your gran would be proud, if she knew.
[Face turns solemn] I know what you're trying to do here, Rimmer.
In that case you'll know all I want is for you to be the best person you can be. Maybe, then, you'll stop drinking and getting fatter!
Hey, that's not fair, he's not getting fatter. He's always been this fat!
You think I'm the bad guy in this, don't you? But, Lister, you're bright, you could go places, maybe even further than me.
Definitely further than you.
And it frustrates me no end to see you fritter it all away. And, here's another thing. Just imagine how proud your gran would be if she'd known you'd be promoted. Am I right?
Maybe.
[Repeating] Maybe?
All right, she'd have been made-up. She always told me that...
[Interrupting] You're demoted.
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