Look, so some stupid people did some stupid things in your name. It's not your fault. You make a lot of people happy. I mean, look at me: I presumed that throughout history, all famous people were amazing. And then I met you! And I realised they're not. In fact you're a bit of a knob. Just like me. Which means that I'm okay.
Yeah, I don't wanna be me. I don't wanna walk down the street and have people say 'ooh, look there's the Jesus of Caesarea, the guy who caused all the wars!'
Jesus of Caesarea? You mean Jesus of Nazareth.
[incredulous] Jesus of Caesarea? Son of Rachel the Fornicator, Samuel the Chicken Stealer.
Samuel the Chicken Stealer?
He stole them, not me. Take it up with him. I'm always having to leg it because of him.
Erm, is Jesus quite a popular name around here?
Yeah, there's a few of us. There's Jesus, son of John with a funny nose.... Jesus, son of Luke, he wraps plant leaves around the feet of horses, about 70 of us at the last census.
[The Dwarfers look utterly defeated]
Does this mean I'm not the son of God?
[Lister nods]
Oh, bugger.
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