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Red Dwarf

Cat and Lister in “Meltdown”

What's it made of?

Wood. It's kind of an inverted L shape made of wood.

Does it have a kind of rope motif?

There is a kind of noosey theme to it, yeah!

It's gallows! Look if it's gallows then say it's gallows! I can take it!

Ok! It's gallows!

Waah! They're building the gallows to hang us!

Look man, don't panic. We're gonna escape.

How?

Just...hijack the guards when they come in, nick their uniforms and stroll out.

Are you insane? Do you seriously expect me to wear grey out of season? I'd rather hang.

Hang on, hang on. Something's happening. Some kind of parade or drill but...

But what?

Hang on. These guys aren't Nazis...they're all wearing different period costumes. There's one looks like Al Capone, there's another like Mussolini, Richard III, Napoleon. Smeg, it's like all the worst people in history have been brought together in one place. Oh my God, there's James Last! I recognize him from Rimmer's record collection.

What are they doing?.

Well, just lining up in ... in some kind of firing squad. Whoa, Whoa! Hang on, hang on. Someone's being brought out, they're tying him to a stake. (looking horrified) It's Winnie the Pooh.

What?

Winnie the Pooh, I swear! He's refusing the blindfold.

They're tying Winnie the Pooh to a stake?

...That's something no one should ever have to see.

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