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Red Dwarf

Kryten, Rimmer and others in Red Dwarf

(Speaking to the skeletal crew) Well, here they are.

(Enters and bows) Carmita...(Sees the skeletons and stays in his bow, jaw agape)

Well...it's a bit difficult to know what to say. Isn't it, Ace?

Well, isn't anybody going to say, "Hello?"

(To Rimmer) I think the blonde one's giving you the eye.

Well, I'll leave you to get acquainted. I'll just go and fix some tea. (Exits)

(To the skeleton of Tracy) Hi, baby!

I don't believe this.

Be strong, Big Man!

Our first contact with intelligent life in three million and two years and it's the android version of Norman Bates.

Come on, guys. So they're a little on the skinny side.

Listen, girls. I don't know whether this is the time or place to say this but my mate, Ace, here is incredibly, 'credibly brave!

Smeg off, dog food face!

And he's got just tons and tons of girlfriends!

I'm warning you, Lister!

(Noticing the silence) Well, is anything the matter?

Anything the matter? They're dead.

Who's dead?

(Pointing to the skeletons) They are dead. They're all dead.

My God! Well, I was only away two minutes!

They've been dead for centuries!

No!

Yes!

Are you a doctor?

You've only got to look at them. They've got less meat on them than a Chicken McNugget! [The "Mc" is edited out of all American broadcasts]

Well, what am I going to do? I'm, I'm, I'm programmed to serve them.

I think the first thing we should do is bury them.

You're that sure they're dead?

(Exasperated) Yes!

(Indicating the skeleton of Anne) What about this one?

There's a simple test. (To the skeletons) All right, girls, hands up, those of you who are alive.

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