Why did the mushroom go to the party?
No. No.
No, not that joke. Why did the mushroom go to the party, Alan?
Cos he was a fun gi. [The audience groans.] What’s wrong with that joke, then?
That’s a joke for, like, an imbecile. You know, like nought point seven years old.
What's brown and sticky?
Oh, no... I don't kn— yeah, I do...
A stick.
Yeah... [Exasperatedly puts her head down.]
I'm worried by the audience reaction...
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
A stick.
Do you have any other jokes where the punchline's "a stick"?
Loads!
Oh, right.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?... A carrot.
What's red and silly?... A blood clot. [The audience groans, Alan grimaces] Oh, don’t look at me like that, you fucking pig-eyed sack of shit! Don't you do that!
You've spoiled it. What's red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.
What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
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