Ned quotes from Pushing Daisies

Ned

Where'd you get this pie?

We thought you were having them delivered. Comes every week.

I don't know how we survived without it: it's like a sex addiction! [beat] I would imagine.

Ned

The police wrestled little Hallie Hundin to the ground and she's small: it was like a lion taking down a baby zebra.

Chuck

And we were awful tourists sitting safe in our camouflaged SUV watching the injustice.

Ned

You're the only one for me.

Chuck

I know you feel that now, but there are things you want. There're things we both want.

Ned

So? Everyone wants stuff, we wake up every day with list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy.

Chuck

What do you need to be happy?

Ned

You.

Chuck

Follow the yellow thick hose!

Ned

Follow the yellow thick hose?

Olive Snook

Boy it's cold. [laughs] You know, you could use a witch's bosom as a hot water bottle on a day like today.

Ned

Any sign of Chuck?

Olive

[imitating Ned] And how are you today, Olive?

Ned

Are you done?

Olive

Think so.

Ned

We were talking about phantom limbs and I blurted it out; it was like word vomit.

Emerson

Then you slipped on that word vomit and fell on your ass and now you all covered in word vomit.

Ned

Been looking.

Chuck

Been hiding.

Ned

How much does Olive know?

Chuck

Don't worry about what Olive knows. Even if I told her the truth, that I died and you brought me back to life, she wouldn't believe me.

Ned

You don't know that.

Chuck

Yes I do, because I told her and she wouldn't believe me.

Ned

Could that have happened to me on the roof? Could I have be swarmed? ...In my underwear too. I could've been swarmed in my underwear.

Emerson

Hey, you don't just get to put them pictures in my head. That's an assault on my imagination.

Chuck

Boy, Kentucky sure had it in for Betty but, who had it in for Kentucky?

Ned

The Terrifying Bee Man.

Chuck

What if he was made entirely out of bees and that's why she couldn't see his face because he didn't even have one. I mean, what if there's a whole "Bee-folk society" who'd walk around shaped like people?

Ned

You're thinking about how you can train your bees to walk around in people shapes, aren't you?

Chuck

Yeah.

Olive

I know, they were lovers at the same-sex persuasion, and the key is for their love nest.

Ned

We've ruled out "Workplace Romance".

Olive

Oh... I'll just, cross that off my list then.

Chuck

I haven't ruled out "Workplace Romance".

Emerson

Romance does give you motive. Somebody's always lovin' somebody they shouldn't be lovin'.

Chuck

Look, I took care of Lily and Vivian for twenty years, they never even left the house. What happened was incredibly unusual.

Ned

Please take this the right way, but so is being dead but not dead.

Emerson

Amen.

Chuck

There was a young man named Von Deenis.

Ned

Who they said had a very big... [commercial break]

Ned

Could I just say that I know you can take care of yourself. When you moved out I panicked because I thought everything was changing...

Chuck

Everything is changing.

Ned

Way to ruin a good apology.

Chuck

What is so terrible about starting fresh?

Ned

Because starting fresh means something else is ending stale. Chuck, who I destroyed Play-Doh cities with; Chuck, my best friend, my first kiss; I don't want that to change.

Chuck

Yeah, and I'm also Chuck, who went on a pleasure cruise and got a plastic bag put over her head.

Ned

That's not as much fun to remember.

Chuck

But it happened, and when it was happening I was thinking... well, actually I was thinking "Son of a bitch, why did I have to go get ice for my ginger ale?" but, really I was thinking "I finally get to live my own life and it's already over" ...And then you, you came and you gave me another chance.

Ned

So it's my fault.

Chuck

My first time around I was terrified of change and I'm not going to make that mistake again; I can't.

Ned

Hi.

Chuck

Hi.

Ned

You must be the new girl in 44, I'm Ned.

Chuck

I'm Charlotte, but you can call me Chuck.

Ned

Hi Chuck... I... really wanna kiss you now.

Chuck

But, we've only just met, we're two strangers in a big city, these things take time... I work at the Pie Hole downstairs.

Ned

Really? I own the Pie Hole downstairs. May we walk together?

Chuck

Well, that'd be swell, Harvey.

Ned

It's Ned, actually.

Chuck

Ned, that's a very nice name.