...[Dutch] jumped Springfield Gorge.
That was Homer Simpson.
S3 E3Daredevils!
S3 E4The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable
[in the interrogation room]
We didn't do anything wrong; we didn't break any laws. Oh no! Oh no! What- What did you do Shawn?
Nothing. It's just that laws keep changing. It's getting very challenging to keep up with them all. For example, did you know that it is now illegal to give a possum a perm?
[In the interrogation room]
Don't I get a phone call or something?
No.
Fine. How about a text message? I'll be quick, I just need to respond "OMG LOL." Here's a question: how do you make a face that's winking with the tongue coming out one side?
Let me be frank.
As long as I can be Dean and Gus can be Sammy.
Why do I always have to be Sammy?
Fine, he's Sammy. That makes you Joey Bishop. Is that what you really want? You want to be Joey Bishop?
SHAWN!
Jules, how often does someone set you up with "Let me be Frank"?
Shawn, don't forget that you are in a lot of trouble here and I am probably the only person in this room who cares to see you get out of it. Now it's 2:30 in the morning; we've been here for hours. Enough with the jokes; stop delaying and tell us what we want to hear!
[turns to Gus stunned] Oh my God, that was so hot.
Now, Mr. Spencer.
HSHenry/Shawn
[together] Yes?
Oh, I meant the older... Sorry, not old... less...
Handsome? Less hair? Less friends on Facebook?
Less nose...
This is the best shake on the planet. One part ice cream, two parts awesome!
S3 E5Disco Didn't Die. It Was Murdered!
I got roped into doing a silly interview with The Independent. They've been calling me, begging, for weeks, and I finally relented.
RReporter
You called me.
And you called me back, which means we're both right.
The important thing is that you got your cover story.
RReporter
Actually, it's page 64.
It really depends on how you fold it, doesn't it?
CChief
It goes without saying, Mr. Spencer, that your father is in no way to participate in this investigation. He's no longer on the force, and his meddling could compromise the case in court. Do I make myself clear?
Yes you do, Chief. What isn't clear is why people always say "goes without saying," yet still feel compelled to say the thing that was supposed to go without saying. Doesn't that bother you?
CChief
No! And frankly, I could care less.
Now that's the one that bothers me. Why do people say "I could care less" when they really mean "I couldn't care less"?
CChief
Well, why don't you tell me how to properly say this? If you share any official information about this case with your father, or let him anywhere near any new evidence, then the two of you will have to find another police department to work for, and I will personally see to it that each of you is charged with obstruction of justice.
You split an infinitive.
Good catch, Gus!
CChief
You two realize I carry a gun, right?
That was perfectly elocuted.
DFDerek Ford
You're sure your father doesn't want to come inside?
Oh, no, no, no. He's clinically insane. And a biter.
I'm a tax-paying, voting citizen, therefore I have a right to speak to any elected official, such as the DA, I please.
You don't have to be a... tax-paying voting citizen, do you?
Spencer, I'd appreciate in the future if you'd just play with your life.
Oh, come on, Lassie. If Derek hadn't caved, I would have just deactivated [the bomb] myself. It's very easy, you just clip the red wire and the green wire at the same time.
Uh, Shawn, there is no green wire.
Really? Well in that case, we all would have died.
S3 E6There Might Be Blood
Hey, Dad. We're prospecting for oil. How was your day?
I can't get over it. After all this time the chief never said she had a sister.
Strange.
And such an alluring sister at that.
Creepy.
Don't you see what's happening here, Gus? We are simply pawns in a bitter sibling feud.
I am nobody's pawn, Shawn. I'm a Queen.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Psych pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.