TV show quotes
Okay, if you're so accepting, then what about what you're trying to do to me now? Make me just like you, even though you know I do not want that.
You want to change us too, don't you? Didn't you just ask if it's possible? There is something else to consider. We know what it feels like to be you. To be alone. To suffer. We've been you. But you've never been us.
And that fuckin'... lady, lady pirate they sent, hmm? Raban. I'm... I'm sorry, I mean Zosia. "It's Zosia. You didn't catch her name because I knew her name. Zosia. You're a fucking idiot." Whatever. How annoying is that chick. Very, very fucking annoying. All smiley. "Hey. Oh, hi. Hey, Carol. We just— We just want to make you happy. Blah blah blah." She's like, "Oh, oh. We're the whole wide world and we're stoked. It's just life is one big, sunshiny walk in the park when you're one of us. Whoo." No way. Nobody sane is that happy. I call bullshit on that. And why she gotta be so goddamn fuckable?
Hello, Carol.
Hey! Uh, where did everybody—?!
This is a recording. At the tone, you can leave a message to request anything you might need. We'll do our best to provide it. Our feelings for you haven't changed, Carol. But after everything that's happened, we just need a little space.
Now, I realize some of you think the world might be better off this way, with all the newfound peace, love and understanding. Enjoy that opinion! Relish it! Because it may be the last one you ever possess. And when the day comes that you have peace and love forced upon you, who knows, maybe in that last fleeting moment... you might just realize you treasured your individuality. Please. Let's work together, the thirteen of us. 'Cause it's gonna take everything we've got. But these people need saving. We owe it to humanity. Call me any time, day or night. Good luck and godspeed.
Anybody listening out there? Huh? How about it, you twelve? Any response? Are you even getting these, 'cause how the fuck would I know?
Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch...
[Diabate turns on a video for Carol, John Cena appearing in it]
Hello Carol, we're John Cena, and we're here to address any questions you may be having regarding our food supply. As you know, we can't purposely harm, kill, or otherwise interfere with any form of life. That limits what we're able to consume. Because when we say any life, that includes plant life. We can't harvest wheat, corn, or rice. We can't pluck an apple from a tree. Once an apple drops of its own accord, well, we'll eat it, of course, and gratefully. Indeed, we harness all the windfall we can find. Plus, there are billions of domesticated animals, cows, chief amongst them that still require milking. And there’s preexisting food, millions of tons of it, that was processed prior to our joining. So far, so good, right? Except for one small problem. As of this taping, there are 7,348,292,411 of us. That’s a lot of mouths to feed. We’re facing a caloric deficit, and to make up for it, we’ve had to take certain measures. This is how we get our sustenance. One half-pint of this shelf-stable liquid contains 300 calories. Which means that based on a diet of 2,400 calories a day, someone John Cena’s size needs eight of these every 24 hours. Larger individuals require more. Smaller ones, less. What’s in it? Well, a lot of things. It’s manufactured across the globe, so the recipe changes based on the local availability of ingredients. Mostly, it’s those stockpiled foodstuffs we spoke of, particularly ones that are in danger of spoiling. Additionally, each carton contains eight to 12% of something we call HDP. Human-derived protein. And yep, that’s pretty much what it sounds like. Nearly 100,000 people pass away each day due to natural causes and accidents. Those human remains, which would otherwise go to waste, are our source of HDP. We cherish the memory of these people and appreciate their sacrifice. Given our druthers, would we choose to consume HDP? No. Throughout history, most cultures, though not all, have taken a dim view of anthropophagy. Honestly, we’re not that keen on it ourselves. But we’re left with little choice. Rest assured, Carol, you will never have to consume this product. Not unless you want to, which we assume is unlikely. We will never serve HDP to you in any form at any time. We will continue to reserve only the freshest, best windfall and stockpiled foods for you. We hope that clears things up. As always, your wellbeing is of the utmost importance to us. Any comments, concerns, call any time, day or night, and leave a voicemail. We regret not being able to speak to you directly, but for the time being, we need our space.
[A group of infected approach Manousos in the jungle after he leaves his car, about to cross the Darién Gap. The dialogue is in Spanish]
Manousos. Please don't do this. The Darién is too dangerous. It's over 100 kilometers to Panama, and there are no marked trails. The forecast this week is not conducive to hiking. It's going to be over 38 degrees with 98% humidity. And we don't mean to harp on hydration, but clean water is not going to be easy to come by. The tropical forest houses a remarkable diversity of snakes, spiders, insects, and many are quite venomous. And then there are the chunga palms. The spines can grow up to 20 centimeters long, and they're covered in bacteria. Even the smallest cut could lead to a fatal infection. Look around you. All these items were left by people who could carry them no further. Please, Manousos. We can take you anywhere you want to go. How about New Mexico? Isn't that where you're going, to visit Carol Sturka? We could get you there by nightfall, we could even transport your car. We know how much it means to you.
[takes out a gasoline canister from the trunk of his car and douses the car with it] Nothing on this planet is yours. You cannot give me anything, because all that you have is stolen. You... [ignites a lighter] don't belong here.
[Manousos lights the gasoline on his car, setting it ablaze and walking past the group of infected]
My name is Manousos Oviedo. I am not one of them. I wish to save the world.
May we ask you a question?
Sure.
What was your best day writing?
No such thing.
Really?
C'mon, you have other writers in there! You should know. That's like asking "Uh, what's the most fun you ever had getting your teeth drilled?"
Oh, you poor, tortured artist.
You are trying to distract me. Knock me off-course. You rebuild my favorite diner. You jump for joy when I tell you I'm writing again, but it's all an act. It’s manipulative bullshit because you know I haven't given up. Admit it. Tell me you know I won't give up.
We know. We wish you would. But it's also true we love Wycaro.
Carol Alright! Honesty. Let's go for it, cards on the table. I like you. You people, you... you, whatever. You're... There-- There's a lot of things that I like about you. But this? This is a trainwreck. This is unsustainable. It's mental illness. It's psychosis. You are starving and you can't even pick a goddamn Apple off a tree? I-- how...? Someone has to put the world right, even if it means you all leave me again. Even if it means that I'm...
[Zosia kisses Carol on the cheek. She flinches back, then kisses Zosia on the lips.]
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