"Since Mr. Lama has been run out of Tibet, the Chinese have introduced secular education, running water and electricity so maybe life is a bit better on the ground there. Of course, the Chinese have also thrown thousands in labor camps and prisons, stomped out as much free speech as possible, and there's that whole fucked up Communism bullshit. But if you ask Tenzin Gyatso, dba Lama—what is it with these holy people and their aliases? His Holiness will tell you that he must return to power "for the good of his people." In this case, "good" may translate into his people living in squalor and his government condoning slavery. Remember, the lesser of two evils… is still evil. And the enemy of my enemy... is not my friend."
We're all offended, all the time, and we don't have a fucking right not to be offended! A free country is a marketplace of ideas, and college should be more free, not less.
Americans believe everybody deserves freedom to move up in the world. That's a great thing. But if moving up means spending four years in a beer commercial run by politeness police, maybe you should think twice.
What universities are saying by these codes, special protections and double standards to women, to blacks, to Hispanics, to gay and lesbian students, is: "You are too weak to live with freedom. You are too weak to live with the First Amendment." If someone tells you are too weak to live with freedom, they have turned you into a child.
We have to give the government more power, but what power? The patriot act is "an act to deter and punish terrorist acts in the United States and around the world, to enhance law enforcement investigatory tools, and for other purposes". Other purposes? What the fuck is that all about? Other purposes. You shouldn't even allow that kind of loose language in a fucking gym membership contract.
And then, the pseudo-scientists dressed in leather stumbled clumsily around the well-lit bedroom. One of them said, the night before, she felt a presence. And the other two… believed her! A battery… went dead. And then the video screen got… got a little weird for a few seconds. They took lots and lots of pictures, and weeks later, when they were developed, a couple of them had lens flare, and they didn't remember fucking up the pictures! And then, the electromagnetic gizmo, that they hadn't calibrated at all… (Dramatic voice) WENT FROM "3" TO "7"! (Teller faints)
You'd think our Bullshit! experiment would settle the whole "gay" thing. But then there's this asshole!
HZHans Zyger
As the homosexual movement became much more entrenched into American culture starting in the late 60's...it really became an opportunity for pedophiles to make a mass assault on the Boy Scouts.
Our pal Dino has a Woman/Cat theory. With each additional cat over two, the crazy increases exponentially. 3 cats, 27 times as crazy. 4 cats, 256 times. By the time you get to 78 cats, you have all the crazy in the free world.
There are so many people in the world who need our help, that it's sickening to spend all this money on pets. What about people? Couldn't all the money spent for fake dog balls, diamond collars, and cat food be spent to help people? Sure it could! But I have original mono copies of Bob Dylan's early albums […] Teller has an original bondage cross and handcuffs that Houdini owned […] We both spend three bucks for a cup of coffee, and live in houses that are way more than our families need. All that money could certainly go to helping people, too. Pets are more bullshit that people waste money on. But fuck, we're in glass houses on this one.
The white man gave Indians blankets laced with smallpox, massacred them, broke every treaty they signed, and stole their land. And let's not forget F Troop.
Manners are habits we can cultivate to help us remain considerate of others, even when we're not thinking about it. Of course, real thoughtful consideration for others can easily replace manners. Teller considers that our guests might like to see how the trick works. Thank you, Teller.
