Penn & Teller: Bullshit! · Season 7
[talking to an orgasm session participant who just met his partner 20 minutes ago]
We can get very intimate very quickly by doing this without going through long conversation and the usual uh, challenge that people, you know, through words.
Ahhh, wait. I have a Dickwad to English dictionary here... he means, uh, "who actually wants to go through the hassle of having to actually talk to the bitch?"
Uh-oh. Looks like there's trouble at Orgasmo University.
It takes a woman twenty minutes to reach orgasm. It takes a man two minutes. What other fucking proof do you need that there's no god?
Astrology is a 4000 year old form of bullshit that postulates a mystical correspondence between your destiny and the position the sun and moon were in when you were born.
Just because Charles didn't help her doesn't mean astrology is always wrong.
No matter how you slice it, astrology is wrong.
Oh.
[Teller, wearing a high school letter jacket, plays on a computer while a group of students and cheerleaders cheer him on.]
Next time you feel like worrying about fake violent video games, try a little gedankenexperiment: imagine that video games were invented 100 years before football. Picture school video game teams and uniforms and hot-ass cheerleaders with big, bouncing pom-poms. Now imagine after 100 years of extracurricular video game fun, football is invented and introduced to schools. Thousands of kids get real, no kidding, no fantasy, no make-believe broken knees, legs, ankles, cervical trauma, heatstroke, and concussions! [Throughout Penn's injury list, the crowd quiets, eventually becoming totally silent.] ... What would parents do? From 1931 to 2007, 650 kids died... from injuries they suffered playing football. This is not video game violence — this is real violence done to real children by other real children, all encouraged by schools and society. Every parent worries about his or her kids; every adult worries about all children, but you need to pick what you think is worth worrying about.
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