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SEASON 1

Peep Show · Season 1

Peep Show Season 1 quotes

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Peep Show
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S1 E15Unfinished Business

(I'm gonna blow this gaff wide open.) Uh... yeah. I spent, uh, some time with Ray before he... went and I just wanted to say that, um, I think we should all remember that Ray, by the end... he loved Jesus. Now I know, Liz, there's no proof for Jesus, but then there's no proof for lots of things like science or the stock market and... we believe in them. Look, what I'm trying to say is that if I was dying and I decided that even though I'd never particularly been into say, uh... Enya before, but that now I really really was into Enya and that in fact I thought Enya was great and that Enya died for our sins and I wanted an Enya themed funeral with pictures of Enya and lots and lots of mentions of... Enya. Then I think it would be a bit bloody rich for my sister to ban all mention of Enya from my funeral! Yeah?

[Everyone applauds, Liz frowns]

[Discussing life and death with Mark]

Sometimes, we're so wrapped up in the nonsense of life...

Right yeah... I mean, if I want an Xbox, why don't I just get an Xbox?

[confused] ...yeah.

(You're losing her) It's a brief candle... a bloody brief candle.

There's only so much happiness in the world and they're hoarding it all!

That's not how happiness works! (It completely is.)

What do I know about love and happiness? I know you have to play dirty, my friend.

Dancing? Y-yes... dancing... I love... dancing... (It makes me look like a coma victim being stood up and zapped with a cattle prod.)

Maybe I should send her a bit of ear. Or a finger. Just to show I'm really serious.

Look, Jez, what I'm trying to say is, for better or worse, the sixties happened and now sex is fine. But can't we take the best of that--the nice music, the colors, the I Have A Dream, et cetera--but not have to face the ... squalor?

You can't imagine your mum having sex with a black man? That's pretty racist, Jeremy!

This place is amazing, Gwyn. How can you afford it all?

GGwyn

Well I guess I've just been very lucky. Money's an energy and lots of it has always flowed towards me. Particularly after my parents died.

Cosmic.

We have something special. Not my words, yours. We can't throw that all away just because I ... spy on you ... can we!?

[Jez approaches an acquaintance from school]

Gog!

GGog

Jeremy! What are you doing here?

Wouldn't you like to know, you big prick!

[Jez twists Gog's nipple]

Remember that time we made you wank off Percy's dog for a fiver?

Is that? ... Oh my god it is! It's Gog!

Who's Gog?

It's Gog! In school, if you had to sneeze, you'd run up and do it in his face.

GGog

Hey, you know what I fancy right now? A kebab. Will you go down and get me a kebab?

[pause] You want me to...

GGog

I want a kebab.

What ... really?

GGog

[laughing] No-o! Why, were you gonna go and get me one?

[Everyone laughs at Jez]

No...

GGog

I can't believe you were gonna go and get me a kebab!

I wasn't!

GGog

[Stops laughing] Well, I want one now.

Right... really?

GGog

[laughs again] No-o! I'm shitting you, Jez! Jesus!

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