JJez
Why do you have to bring worry and doubt into everything? You're like some kind of mad evangelist for anxiety!
(Lots to go around old son. I'm probably a few grams lighter now.)
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
When our child looks up at you, I want them to see a happy, contented role model - not some grey faced, dull eyed drone who's hated his job and his life for years.
(Must ring Dad.)
JJez
I wank 10, maybe 12 times a day.
ESElena's boss
12 times?
JJez
Yes. Or more. It's a disease. I have a wanking disease.
JJez
I don't want to take another wank bullet. What, am I some kind of wank shield?!
JJez
What was it Shakespeare said?
He said a lot of things, Jeremy.
JJez
He basically said something about how there are more things there than there are actual things that you can see with your eyes. That's not the exact quote.
I think we can count our friendship pretty much over from now on.
JJez
Oh, don't be a cock!
I'm not a cock, but the cock has certainly crowed... thrice.
JJez
When? What are you talking about?
It means you've betrayed me, it's the New Testament. You cock!
I don't think I wiped off that porn you recommended.
JJez
I didn't recommend it Mark. I'm not Time Out.
Yes you did - you gave it five stars!
JJez
It's a great boiler, it's just got a very idiosyncratic control panel. It's like the Jesus and Mary Chain of central heating control systems, difficult to get into initially, but then- so much to explore!
I've sold out. A little bit of me has died. But, you know what? A lot of me doesn't give a shit.
That's the single nicest thing Jez has ever done for me and it's completely ruined my life.
JJez
So you'll buy tissue paper for me to wipe my sphincter, but you won't buy a bit of lube to aid the giving and receiving of pleasure?
That's right.
Gail’s in Mensa. She reads books. For fun!
JJez
Me and this Gail, we're just eating from different sides of the plate. I play woodwind, she's on brass.
In, fire thirty percent of the workforce, new logo, boom, out. You are now a fully trained management consultant.
Stick it on the laterbase!
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