Mr. Optimism here is working on his will. Just so you know - I was about to say, dibs on Owen; you can have Claudia.
S4 E17Of Sound Mind and Body
S4 E18True or False
I guess I just sometimes wish I went to college, that's all.
Instead of what?
S4 E19Go Away
[at 3:00 a.m.] Wrong number. My heart is pounding.
God, phone calls in the middle of the night, huh?
Phones used to ring all the time in the middle of the night. It just meant Dad was hung up at the restaurant or Mom's car battery died after rehearsal, that's all. 'Til that night. Some police officer, Sergeant Dubrowsky. Darrell Dubrowsky, saying "There's been an accident, son." Saying it real slow. Saying it twice. March 22, 1994, at 11:45. That's when phone calls in the middle of the night stopped being nothing. And nothing's ever been nothing since, you know? You don't see your brother when you pull up to daycare -- he's been kidnapped. Your sister gets home late from a music lesson -- she got hit by a bus. Doctor tells you your test results turned up an irregularity -- you're gonna die. I guess that's the way life works, you know? I know that now.
Charlie.
Come on, man -- don't do this to yourself.
Did I do it to myself? I don't know, Bay. For 24 years I believed that everything always turned out OK. And then March 22, 1994 happened, and now I don't.
[to Sarah] There are good answers for people who have money, and there are good answers for people who have people to take care of them, but there are no good answers for me.
Why do I feel like I did something wrong?
'Cause that's you, Bay.
Why? Why is that me? Because I wasn't always like this, Jul. You remember, when I was, like, 15 years old? I was getting in trouble all the time, blowing off my curfew...
Well, that's just being a kid. You were a kid.
Right. And then they died. They checked out and the next day I was, I was this adult. I went from being 15 one day to 45 the next.
[to Bailey & Julia at the cabin] I don't wanna play any more games, OK? I'm not some little kid who's afraid of the dark. I mean, I wish, I wish, I wish that's all there was to be afraid of. Wouldn't that be simple?
That's exactly what everyone said when Mom and Dad left. "Try to get back to normal Claudia." So I tried that, I really tried. And I was getting pretty good at it. But that's it, I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not going to try to be okay with people leaving me ever again.
What kind of nimrod calls a food product "gorp"? Is that supposed to be appetizing? I might as well name it "zard" or "quiff". How bout "barf" could be a better name than-- Hey! Charlie.
S4 E20Square One (1)
So, you beat the big C! I mean, now what? Join the Peace Corps? Shave your head?
Well, I thought I'd do another load of whites.
S4 E22Free and Clear (2)
[to Julia] God, what was this whole year -- was this an experiment for you? 'Cause that's what it feels like. Like you've just been slumming around for a whole year. Got a couple of jobs, a marriage. And if that doesn't work out, you can always go back to school, 'cause that's what everyone thought you were gonna do anyway.... I'm not lucky like you, Julia. This is it for me.
[about Griffin] It feels bad coming home to an empty house. Except it feels empty even when he's here.
Well, I guess you gotta decide which feels less bad.
What the devil have I done with my slippers?
Here are your slippers! And there, take your slippers and may never a day's luck with them.
What on earth?! What did you throw those slippers at me for?
Are you finding this really sad?
You mean Charlie's acting?
CSCharlie's Review
A word to Charlie Salinger, who according to the program is making his stage debut -- if you have a day job, sir, I beg you not to quit it. And if you don't have one, please get one immediately.
[to Charlie, about Daphne] That's who you're going to for career advice? Someone whose main source of income is taking their clothes off?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Party of Five pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.