I don't want to be the only one Charlie. Because what happens when I disappoint you some day...and I'm scared cause if I'm the only one I have to watch what I say and what I do...I hear what you are saying about them and it's like, I'm next in line to make the same mistakes they're making. I'll call you too much or not enough. Or you're going to get insulted about some analogy I make from my life.
S4 E9Truth Be Told
It must be bad, otherwise you would have leveled with me. You would have said it's cancer and one in four people who get it die. But you didn't. You said it was one hundred percent curable and then you bought me ice cream.
Are you going to die?
No, I'm NOT going to die.
Why should I believe you?
S4 E10Adjustments
[to Bailey]] Don't you dimple me. I can't take that kind of pressure.
Julia, a job is like waiting tables or cleaning toilets. It's not supposed to be fun. That's why they call it work.
S4 E11S'Wunnerful Life
Oh, I can beat you misery for misery.
Okay. New Haven is the bleakest, coldest, most depressing place in the world.
Wow, that's good. Try living in a shed.
Must be the nutmeg.
I love nutmeg.
Or maybe it's the vanilla.
I love vanilla.
I'm thinking it's the rum.
I didn't put any rum in this.
No, but those guys did.
Love those guys.
I always hated you.
Huh? Oh, yeah. What a coincidence. I always hated you, too.
I mean, let's be honest. You got this whole "bad boy" thing going on "this is me, and I don't give a damn" thing that women always go for Makes me wanna puke.
Well, what about you, huh? You with your "smartest and thinks he's smartest" routine. Major pain in the butt, Mr. Harvard freakin' law.
It's Yale! All right? And I'm an English major.
Ooh, yeah, Mr. Yale freakin' English.
You know what really baffles my ass? I'm the one who's killing myself. And you, you already got everything you want. You got your stupid little motorcycle shop, you're married to this perfect woman, and it's just Man, go figure.
Yeah, well, it's not all it's cracked up to be, all right? I've got overhead, I've got long hours, and I'm living in a shed. You know, Harvard's a piece of cake compared to the real world, pal.
Yale!
Yale schmale, man! Don't come crying on my shoulder. You're the one that's got it easy.
Oh, oh, you think you got it rough? Whoo-hoo. I was valedictorian at Grant. You know that? And then I go to Yale and, hello! All of a sudden I'm failing English lit. English lit! It's like all of a sudden I'm stupid or something. Oh, and the people there. Oh, my God. My roommate He's this Thurston Howell turd wannabe. First day he starts off by unpacking his collection of Brandy snifters. And he's telling me all about his Polo scores, and I'm like, "whatever!" It sucks. Ok? It blows! Ok? Ok?!
Uh, ok, yeah. No, man, whatever. You yeah, you win.
Is there any more of this stuff?
Oh, yeah. Hey, the next one's on me, bro.
You're the oldest twenty-year old I know.
Actually, I'm nineteen.
S4 E12Empty Shoes
What about Owen? Should I call a doctor or something?
Which color food is it now?
What? He's done this before?
Yeah, when Bailey went to college last year he wouldn't eat anything that wasn't green. It means he's a little freaked by what's going on.
Yeah, well this year it's white.
Well, then my advice is cook white food.
He's eating popcorn for breakfast?
Hey, it's white!
C'mon back. I'll throw up on both of you.
How am I supposed to run this place without waiters?
WWaitress
John Dory's a fish.
Well, how am I supposed to run this place without fish?
That restaurant needs you Charlie. Everyone there is like, "How can we radiate him faster. Can we pop him in the microwave or something?"
S4 E13Parent Trap
OOwen
Damn! Damn! Damn! You owe me money.
Owen. What?
It's 7:30, where the hell have you been?
I've been working. What is Owen yelling?
Damn, you owe me money, damn.
He's been at the shop with me.
With all that stuff is like toxic and dangerous.
It beats leaving him here alone.
Claudia!
Hey, I never said I'd babysit.
OOwen
Damn! Damn!
Owen, stop it! Look, he's covered in grease, did you think about giving him a bath?
That's my job too?
Hey, I was working.
Well, I should have been working, not watching your little brother.
Has he eaten yet?
I don't know. Did you bring home some dinner?
There's chicken in the fridge.
Well, what do you want me to do? Cook it?
Yes.
No! That's not the way it works, I'm working, I'm not coming home to cooking, cleaning and screaming kids!
OOwen
Damn, you owe me money, damn.
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