Claudia Salinger quotes from Party of Five

[slurring] Hey, I'm in here.

Grace

Bailey, what are you--? I thought you were hiring a clown.

Clowns are expensive. And very hard to book at the last minute. "No, I can't do it." "Sorry, I'm busy." Jerks.

Grace

Are you okay? Maybe you should--

You know what, Grace? You tell too many people what to do. Maybe if you were less of a bitch, more people would like you.

S3 E19 Point of No Return

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Hey, what the hell--?

Every clown was booked.

[Charlie laughs]

Bailey; This whole thing's been a major hassle, and I don't need to hear about it from either of you.

Claudia

Sorry.

Give me this.

SSam

So, you feeling better?

About what?

SSam

Oh, man, you didn't see? I was a saint to those people. I brought 'em drinks, chatted with 'em. I'll try and swing by after work, okay?

AAll

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Owen. Happy birthday to you.

Well, that pretty much sucked.

WWoman

Blow it out.

Yeah!

Whoa!

Claudia

Bailey.

Who the hell put that there?

What's going on?

He's ripped.

Oh my God.

Claudia

He--? He's what?

Drunk. Really drunk. Okay, so it's a little messed up, but it's a lot more fun that way, right?

Hey, what did you expect?! I've never done this before. You expect a first-time clown not to make any mistakes? Huh?!

BBoy

I want my mom.

Oh, God, don't cry. He's crying!

Bay, come on, let's get outta here.

I'm talking to my friend, here. I'm teaching him how to be a man.

Bay, I said, come on.

I said, I'm talking!

Claudia

Charlie.

Grace

Oh, my God. Charlie, are you okay?

I'm fine.

It was-- He pushed-- It was an accident. The hell with all of you.

WWoman

I think it's time to go.

MMan

I think that's a good idea.

S3 E19 Point of No Return

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Claudia

[after her siblings ask her to lie to Bailey about Owen being hurt in an attempt to get him to come to the house] No. Uh uh. No way.

Claud.

Claudia

No. Forget it. That's a terrible thing to do.

Yeah, it is. It is. But how else, Claud. How else can you get him here?

Claudia

I don't know. But that? No, no. You can't tell him that. I mean, you can't have him get in his car and drive all the way over here thinking that. [to Sarah] You don't think this is, like, the cruelest thing you could do to a person? I mean, you're actually okay with this?

Sarah

I know it'll get him here, Claudia. So yeah, I am.

Claudia

Well, I don't care. I won't. I don't care, and you know, if you think it is such a great idea, you call.

It won't make any sense coming from Sarah. Or me, or Charlie.

It's you, Claud. If you call him and say that you need his help, that you don't know what to do, then he'll believe you. And he'll come.

He's in trouble, Claudia. I mean, aren't you willing to do whatever it takes to help him? I am.

[Claudia looks torn; starts dialing]

Claudia

[crying hysterically on phone] Bay! Bay, um, it's Owen. He...I wasn't looking and he...he fell down the stairs and he hit his head...hard. I don't know...I don't know if he's breathing...but he's not moving, Bailey. And I don't know what to do! You gotta...you gotta...okay. Okay, but hurry. [hangs up. To Charlie] Shame on you.

S3 E20 Intervention

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[after telling Bailey that their father was also an alcoholic] I'm sorry, Claudia. I didn't know you were standing there.

Claudia

It's OK. I should know, right? Who my father really was...

That wasn't who he was. It was just a small part of him.

Claudia

It isn't small. It's everything. He was an alcoholic.

He stopped drinking long before you were even born, Claudia.

Claudia

But it...it changes everything.

How?

Claudia

Because I thought I knew him!

You did, sweetie! Everything you remember about your father is still true. He wasn't perfect, Claudia. He made mistakes, he had faults... it didn't make him any less of a person. Just made him human.

Claudia

So what happened? What made him stop? I wanna know.

Your mom said she'd leave him.

Claudia

Oh.

S3 E20 Intervention

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I don't need to be taken care of. And I don't need any AA contact. I mean it's okay, Charlie. I kind of feel better, actually.

You do?

Yeah, I do. Anyway. I guess you guys were right about me. Turns out you were right. Of course you were. I mean, I'm my father's son, right? Which is...which explains a lot of things. I mean, I can finally stop looking at myself and thinking, what is going on here? What am I turning into? Who am I turning into? Because it's him. I'm turning into him. And it's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's his fault. So...so I'm gonna stop beating myself up and I'm gonna stop letting all of you guys beat up on me. Because this is just who I am, and this is what I do. I drink. Anyone seen my coat?

Claudia

That's it?

Yeah, Claud, that's it.

Claudia

[upset] No. No no no no no no no. I can't take this, Bailey. I mean, you can't do this anymore.

Claudia...

Claudia

[crying hysterically] No, Bailey. I mean it. That's it...that's it! I mean if you don't...if you don't get help, I don't want to see you. You can't talk to me...and you can't talk to Owen...and you can't come over to the house...and I'm not going to come and see you...and I'm not going to call you...and I'm not even going to think about you.

Claudia...

Claudia

No! I love you, Bailey. More than anyone. I love you the best. You know that. This is the only thing I have that I can take away from you...to make you stop. So either you get help right now...or get out of here.

[long pause; Bailey finds his coat and leaves]

S3 E20 Intervention

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AAvery

Claudia, please. I really don't--

Claudia

No! Because I know what you're doing. You're trying to protect me. But see...you're not.

AAvery

How does it help you to think bad things about your father?

Claudia

I don't want to think bad things, Avery. I want to think good things, but I can't, because whenever I try...whenever I remember him posing us for one of those stupid Christmas cards, as a human pyramid or something...it seems fake, like I'm remembering something the way he wanted me to, but not how it really was.

AAvery

He drank too much, Claudia. What more do you need to know?

Claudia

I want to know what he was like. What he was really like.

S3 E21 Hitting Bottom

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Where the hell have you been? Where the hell have you been?!

Where the hell have I been? I took Owen out for a ride... what the hell is so the hell about it?

You took him from daycare without telling anybody, then you kept him all day without calling?

I spent the afternoon with my little brother. What's the big deal? I do it all the time.

No you don't. For the last couple months you've been totally AWOL.

Well, then I'm making up for lost time. What's wrong with that?

Because we had no way of knowing... How are we supposed to...

If I was drunk? Is that what this is about? You thought I'd be wasted? Right? You thought I would drive around wasted and get Owen killed?

Well. Are you?

Oh, that's really sweet, just when I thought my family couldn't love me any less...

Have you had anything to drink?

No, I haven't.

Let me smell your breath.

Get away from me.

You have! You've been drinking!

I had a beer, Charlie. One beer.

You drank and you drove with your little brother in the car!

I'm completely sober! Ok, you wanna give me a test?!

I don't believe you! Somebody ought to...

Well, come on! Go on! [Charlie grabs Bailey by the shirt, and the others run to stop him]

No, Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Stop it!

Claudia

Charlie!

Stop!

Claudia

Stop, Charlie!

Stop!

Claudia

Stop it! [to Bailey] Bailey.

Just stay away from Owen, you hear me? You can wreck your own life, but you're not gonna hurt him.

He's my brother!

No, he's not!

I can't believe, that you people--

Sarah

Bailey! We gotta go after him. Right? I mean, obviously this isn't working, he isn't gonna learn anything like this. He's been drinking and now he's gonna drive and we've gotta do something! Right? Right?

S3 E21 Hitting Bottom

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I'm sorry, Claud. I shouldn't have yelled at you. But I don't get it. I don't get why you're so mad at him.

Claudia

Because of what he did to us.

But what did he do to you, really? Because he didn't make Bailey drink. I know you think he did, but--

Claudia

Yes, he did. He gave him his problem.

No, Claud. Even if he did get the alcoholism from him, Dad couldn't help that, any more than Mom could help giving you her music.

Claudia

Maybe not, but…he could help what he did to her. He could help being a bad husband and a bad father.

He wasn't Claud. He quit drinking. He made himself better, and the guy he was after that, you loved him. You thought he was a great father.

Claudia

I don't care. I don't think that anymore.

You know, I've made a lot of mistakes, too, stuff that's hurt this family, and I tell myself that you need to screw up before you can learn, you know? Maybe you've got to be a lousy person before you can be a good one. And Owen, I mean…what if someday, Owen looks at me the way you're looking at Dad? Because if he does, there's no reason he won't decide to hate me.

Claudia

You're different, Charlie. The stuff you did, it's just not the same thing.

Yes, it is. It's exactly the same. He was a good father, Claud, and if he was still around, he'd be a good father now. [long silence] Claudia?

Claudia

Is Bailey gonna be okay?

I hope so. But I don't know.

S3 E21 Hitting Bottom

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I know you said you didn't want me to be here, but wow, Claud. You were incredible! The couple next to me, they were clapping so hard for you, if you didn't do an encore, I think they would have ended up in the hospital! So, you want to do something? You want to get some dessert and celebrate? Or we could check out--

Claudia

Just cut it out, okay?

Cut what out?

Claudia

Being all nice and concerned and "What do you want, Claud?" You're only doing it because you screwed up.

Claudia. Look, Claudia, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry.

Claudia

You're always sorry, and I'm just getting sick of it, okay?

Well--

Claudia

Because all I do is worry about you, Bailey, and...what happened to you worrying about me?

Of course I worry about you, Claud.

Claudia

Do you? Do you know what a big deal tonight was? Do you really know how scary it is to stand up in front of a thousand people who have heard it a zillion times, only, only played by Itzhak Perlman or Isaac Stern? It's...it's hard to breathe, and your fingers, they...they feel all thick, and you...you, you feel...you feel...

What?

Claudia

[crying] Alone. I felt alone. I can't count on you anymore, Bailey, and I can't go to you to make me feel better, because you're...all of a sudden, I'm the one taking care of you, cleaning up after you, watching out for you, and it's not fair!

Why not? Why isn't that fair? Because I'm older than you? Because you need to be taken care of, and I don't? Will you stop? [Claudia stops walking] Listen, Claudia, I wish more than anything that you didn't have to watch me fight this the way I am, but you do. Look, I am sorry, but that is just the way it is.

Claudia

Great.

Hey, you know what? You know what? You're not a baby anymore, and you're not gonna be a kid for that much longer, either, so maybe...maybe you could come through for me.

S3 E24 A Little Faith

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Claudia

If I owned an Armani anything, I would wear nothing else. I mean, what is your problem with this suit?