Charlie Salinger quotes from Party of Five

Bailey

The doc says you're doin' much better and what you really need now is some high-quality REM sleep, and then...

Charlie

Then what? I'll only have cancer? ... Just let me be OK with 'whatever happens is gonna happen.' It's so much better that way. If I get better, I get better -- that's great. If I die, I die -- that's not so great. But, you know what -- it's there. So please, just let me stop pretending that it's not.

Bailey

[at 3:00 a.m.] Wrong number. My heart is pounding.

Julia

God, phone calls in the middle of the night, huh?

Charlie

Phones used to ring all the time in the middle of the night. It just meant Dad was hung up at the restaurant or Mom's car battery died after rehearsal, that's all. 'Til that night. Some police officer, Sergeant Dubrowsky. Darrell Dubrowsky, saying "There's been an accident, son." Saying it real slow. Saying it twice. March 22, 1994, at 11:45. That's when phone calls in the middle of the night stopped being nothing. And nothing's ever been nothing since, you know? You don't see your brother when you pull up to daycare -- he's been kidnapped. Your sister gets home late from a music lesson -- she got hit by a bus. Doctor tells you your test results turned up an irregularity -- you're gonna die. I guess that's the way life works, you know? I know that now.

Julia

Charlie.

Bailey

Come on, man -- don't do this to yourself.

Charlie

Did I do it to myself? I don't know, Bay. For 24 years I believed that everything always turned out OK. And then March 22, 1994 happened, and now I don't.

Daphne

So, you beat the big C! I mean, now what? Join the Peace Corps? Shave your head?

Charlie

Well, I thought I'd do another load of whites.

Charlie

What the devil have I done with my slippers?

Daphne

Here are your slippers! And there, take your slippers and may never a day's luck with them.

Charlie

What on earth?! What did you throw those slippers at me for?

Charlie

You have an unusual occupation, Daphne. They are curious.

Daphne

Like people are curious about mad cow disease... I want you to let them know that I have other incredible qualities besides being able to unsnap my bra with my teeth.

Bailey

You're in serious trouble, man.

Charlie

Why? How do you figure?

Bailey

Well, there's gonna come a day when she walks through the door four hours after her curfew and she's got a hickey on her neck the size of a baseball and she declares her undying love for a guy who's got a tattoo on his bicep that reads 'Born Dead' - a guy named Meat, and that's not even his nickname. Man, I should just start saving for your bail now.

Charlie

I was thinking maybe we could name her Diana.

Daphne

As in Princess?

Charlie

As in my mother.

Daphne

Oh. Wow. Well, that's gonna kinda be a problem for me, Charlie, because my next-door neighbor growing up, her name was Diana, Diana Didario, and we would call her the Italian Sub, and everytime I hear the name Diana I think of this extremely fat girl who shaved my dog because I wouldn't give her my Twinkie.

Charlie

I didn't get to see her on her birthday. My daughter's one day old now. I can't figure out how things work, Kirsten. I mean, all this stuff with me and Daphne, all this crap that we had to get through, and the one thing that I was completely clear on, the one thing that seemed exactly right for me, was this baby...

Kirsten

Charlie.

Charlie

So now maybe that's the only thing I don't get to keep. How does that make sense?

Charlie

My parents had five kids.

Daphne

Are you just realizing that now?

Charlie

Five. How did they manage that?

Daphne

They had sex a lot?

Daphne

You get a 6-minute credit. Which, actually, when you figure in my 15 minute credit from, you know, handling the spitup on your shift, that works out to be a 9-minute credit in my favor.

Charlie

You claim you can't balance a checkbook.

Daphne

You thought that once Diana was born, that I would just have to look into that tiny little face, with your hazel eyes and my crooked chin, and that would be it, and that we would just live happily ever after. And, you know something, Charlie, deep down inside, I thought the same thing. But that is not happening. Charlie?

Charlie

She's crying.

Daphne

See, I didn't even hear her.

Charlie

You think you're gonna sacrifice your whole education, blow off a whole year's tuition, to come back here and take care of these kids?

Claudia

Yeah, well, it's not like you're doing such a bang-up job without me.

Daphne

Not that there is ever a right time. But is it before her eyes can focus on me? Is it before she can call me mama...? I'm afraid that I'm always gonna be the kind of mom who can and will walk away. And that's not the kind of mom that Diana needs. Diana or you. So the question is not when will I leave. The truth is, I've already left.

Charlie

Daph.

Daphne

Just do one thing for me after I go. Don't let her hate me.

Charlie

I just lost it. 'Cause it, you know, hit me that I'm alone.

Julia

It's OK, Charlie. OK, she's gone. So then now you've gotta think about what's important. Diana is important, and you, your life. Charlie, God, you gotta remember -- you almost weren't here. Be important to yourself, Charlie. 'Cause, I mean, where would we be? And you're not alone. You're never alone, OK?

Charlie

How could a mother just walk out on her baby, Jule? ... I know it's hard to take care of people, even when you love 'em. God, do I know that! But you don't just leave.

Julia

Well, see, you don't know. Because you don't leave. That's not who you are. Daphne is Daphne, and maybe when she thinks about it, then...

Charlie

No. Daphne is gone.