Stocking quotes from Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt

Stocking

O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came. Repent mother fucker! Woops. This must've shrunk in the wash.

Stocking

I just creamed so fucking hard.

O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth. May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came. Repent, motherfucker!

I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought!

Panty

Had this been anymore fucking predictable?

Stocking

Nope. She's a queen, she's a bee, she's a queen bee, we fucking get it!

Stocking

"Innocent yet sexy are the words most commonly used to describe the luscious, young sex symbol who has recently made a comeback. No more dangling babies over balconies or breaking windows, Panty has made a fresh new start." Shitballs, she is not that innocent. Come on. I just had a puddingasm! That sticky goo in my mouth all day! She's here, ten thousand years later. Whore. How's it going over there, Panty?

Panty

Just dandy. Hey, remember that time you made a really fucked up commercial?

Stocking

[from commercial] Glaze my doughnut. Eat my doughnut. I got a doughnut for you!

Panty

Hahahaha! Fuck him with a chainsaw, girl! That was hilarious! Haha!

Stocking

Suck a cow tit, skank!

Panty

Only if you're serving it with your glazed doughnut holes. Too bad you got fired.

Stocking

I wasn't fired. I just refused to sell out, unlike some whores I know. I prefer to keep it on the D.O. I don't wanna fuck up our premiere unlike you.

Panty

Fine. Sit there and flick it while my pampered white ass gets famous without ya!

Stocking

That reminds me. Make sure to warn the ushers at the movie to leave an extra seat for that pampered ass to spread out.

Stocking

JESUS! You always have to fuck up everything, don't you!? This is my room. Your's looks like a hooter's asshole exploded! Look at your toilet! Look at your bathtub! Look at what you put in your mouth and I'm not just talking about dick! You're nothing but a filthy, ho-bagging thief!

Panty

Remember that time when I told you to relax? You need some inner fucking peace.

Stocking

I do not understand how I can ever be related to you.

Panty

[holds a bag of Death Babanero spicy chips] Try these, chica. I'll let you steal some of my food if that'll make you feel better. We cool? [Stocking puts the bag to the ground, where Chuck gets fire breath from the chips] Look, hooker, I'm trying to be fucking nice here.

Stocking

You know I don't like spicy food!

Panty

You do realize that if you only eat sweet shit, you're going to end up a Fatty McFatterson.

Stocking

Whatever! Here's a newsflash, Flatty McFlatterson, all the weight I gain goes straight to my boobs and I am okay with that!

Panty

Yeah, and your nipples are the size of dinner plates. Mine are small, fierce, and oh, God, are they sensitive!

Stocking

You like guys who freak out over your titters. I say titters because your boobs are so small, they actually make me laugh.

Panty

Ah. It's cool. Your tits keep you from looking like a little girl. I get it. Then, when he gives you candy, you won't feel like you're hooking up with a pedophile.

Stocking

You mean like that idiotic muscle-head piece of shit you keep on the back burner? Oh, by the way, I diddled him. I diddled him real hard and he said I was the best fuck he had ever had. Way better than you. Not that he should procreate, but I would totally have his abortion.

Panty

Well, I fucked that little masochist freak you like so much! He was tying me in up, so, heads up, Buttercup! His fatass was all jiggly, just like your fancy pudding and giant skin sacks! Keep your mouth off my things!

Stocking

Likewise, bitch!

Garterbelt

Now, don't forget. Angels, another mandate has arrived. Get your lazy asses to the scene, immediately! Alright, this is the part where you're supposed to get the fuck up!

Stocking

No way.

Panty

Yeah, that's not gonna happen, Garter.

Garterbelt

Holy shit. What now? Son of a bitch.

You heard what I said! I'm not going anywhere with that goddamn waste of space whore! Who the fuck are you calling a whore!? Hey, fuck off, cuntbag! I'm so fucking over you! Quit copying me!

O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth.

Panty

Guess what's next.

Everyone! Prepare to surge forth with the seeds of anger!

Yeah! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth! Surge forth!

Panty

Yada yada with great vengeance. And furious anger!

Now, brothers! Let the final ejaculation flow!

Panty

Time to repent motherfuckers!

Panty

Ugh, I knew it! It’s sweet shit! Sorry, those pedophile moves don’t work on me anymore! Stocking, how do you do it? I can actually feel my ass dimpling! Uh, chica? Did you hear me? What the fuck’s a fondant anyway? It looks like plastic! You take ‘em. They’re from Angel House, that place everyone’s getting their nipples hard over.

Stocking

No, thank you! I have no interest in things of that nature!

Panty

Seriously? Your call! Looks like Chuck’s getting the runs tonight! Chuck! You’re up. Want some cellulite? Ready? Hold this on your nose! Hold still, damn it! Good boy! Okay, catch! Catch! Do the thing with the catching! You’re so fucking useless! Drool! Good boy.

Stocking

WAIT- [Chuck eats the cake, to her dismay]

Panty

Oopsie! Did you decide you wanted some?

Stocking

Did you decide you wanted to shut the fuck up?

Panty

Oh, Stocking?

Stocking

Yes, whore?

Panty

Are you on a diet? You can tell me!

Stocking

Of course not! Why would you say that? I’m naturally petite and thin! I’m the reason tweens make themselves hurl!

Panty

Uh oh! Peek-a-boo! I saw it! There it is! There it is again. Hello! Still there. Fatty! Fatass! One more hit! Fatty! Fattyfattyfattyfattyfatty- [Stocking starts laughing away]

O pitiful shadow...

Panty

...lost in the...

Stocking

...dark...

Panty

O evil...

Stocking

...spirits... uh... Heaven and Earth...

Uh... something about maidens... ...and striking down with great vengeance and furious anger!

Stocking

Returning you.

Panty

Somewhere for something.

Panty

This is some bad shit, Stocking!

Stocking

Just shut up and hammer!

Panty

[she bars the door] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! [a dog zombie appeared by the barred door; Panty uses a gun against the dog] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! They're all immune!

Stocking

That's why you should hammer, stupid!

Panty

Fine. I will! [she hits the dog with a hammer] Take that, dog dick!

Stocking

You've been shooting 'em for three hours! And you think a hammer's gonna magically do the trick?

Panty

Shut up, bitch! Where did these freaks come from, anyway?

Stocking

Yeah, the cops didn't say anything about all these fucking ghosts, obviously.

Scanty

Final point! You ready?

Kneesocks

Go! Fly, Sister!

Scanty

Well this has been rather diverting but it's time to wrap things up, what do you say?

Panty

Stockin'!

Stocking

Got it!

Panty

Perfect shot! Game over! You're about to get hardcore served! Repent, bitches!

Garterbelt

Are you fucking me right now!? You lyin' sacks of Angel shit! You're supposed to be emissaries of God, not selfish, chicken-headed hoes!

Panty

Motherfucker needs to motherfuckin' chillax before he has a motherfuckin' stroke!

Stocking

Which would rock, 'cause then he could only use half his face to yell at us.

Garterbelt

Shut the fuck up! You need to worry about your shitty-ass situation, not me! Focus, bitches! While you've been cock-jumpin' and embracing your inevitable diabetic coma, shit's been going down with the Ghosts in this town! People's freakin' the fuck out! Now, does "Hell on Earth" mean anything to you hookers? You need to stop acting like a couple o' Babylonian hoes and remember why the fuck you're here to begin with!

Stocking

This is taking for-fucking-ever, what time is it?

Panty

You've got a watch, right? [Stocking looks at her watch]

Stocking

What the shit-hell?! We've been waiting for five goddamn hours!

Panty

I bet that fuckin' afro-taint-licker is trying to starve us to death. (To Garterbelt) Dude! Garter! Why don't you hurry the fuck up, for Christ's sake!?

Stocking

If we die out here, we're gonna kill you!

Garterbelt

Patience is a virtue! Shut the fuck up, bitches!

Panty

Hmph! God, this is such bullshit, I guess we're just supposed to just sit here and wait around 'til dinner for that slow-ass dickwad to get around to making us lunch!

Stocking

He spent all of yesterday in the kitchen too, and what did he have installed when we were at the club? A fucking door! [the words "fucking door" appear as she yelled the last two words] It's so not fengshui.

Panty

Sorry for the wait! I hope you guys are ready for a fuckin' party, now!

Stocking

So, in the immortal words, of Panty and Stocking Anarchy.

Panty

Say it with me.

Repent, motherfuckers!