Over the Garden Wall Season 1 quotes

[sees Woodsman off] Shoot. Y-you think we should've asked him for help? [Greg shrugs]

BBird

Maybe I can help you. I mean, you guys are lost, right? [Wirt gasps, slaps his face]

What in the world is going on?

GGregory

Well, you're slapping yourself, and I'm answering your question, and—

No, Greg, a-a bird's brain isn't big enough for cognizant speech.

BBird

Hey, what was that?

I mean, I-I'm just saying, you're-you're weird. Like, not normal. I-I mean... oh my gosh, stop talking to it, Wirt.

BBird

It?

Uh, I-I-I'm—

[appears suddenly] What're you doing here?! Explain yourselves!

BBird

[flies off] Aaand I'll see you guys later, bye.

Calm, calm down, mister! Wh-whatever you do here is your business! W-w-we just wanna get home with all our legs and arms attached!

These woods are no place for children! Don't you know the Beast is afoot here?!

The Beast? W-w-we-we-we don't know anything about that! W-we're just two lost kids trying to get home!

Well, welcome to the Unknown, boys. You're more lost than you realize.

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The mill is destroyed... the oil! All gone!

But look! We, w-we got the beast problem solved. [points at the dog]

That dog?! That is NOT the Beast! The Beast cannot be mollified like some farmer's pet! He stalks like the night. He sings like the Four Winds. He is the Death of Hope! He steals their children and he'll... ruin... [mumbles]

You're always messing up, Greg.

Boy! You have it backwards! You are the elder child! You are responsible for you and your brother's actions!

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[Greg finds the talking female bird trapped in bramble in a bush]

Oh, it's you again. I'm stuck. Help me out of here, and I'll owe you a favor.

Whoa! I get a wish?

No, no. no. Not a wish. I'm not magical. I'll just do you a good turn.

Can you turn me into a tiger?

Um, no. I just said I'm not magical.

It doesn't have to be a magical tiger.

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You guys find this place as creepy as I do, right?

So it's some kind of weird cult they wear vegetable costumes and dance around a big thing. They seem nice enough.

Okay, you're in denial. That's fine. But I'm just saying, something feels off about this place.

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[Wirt and Greg are confronted by the large sentient pumpkin called Enoch]

EEnoch

Now, let's see here, boys. How'd you end up in this little town of ours?

Well, we were trying to get home. We came into town from the woods. Uh, we saw your farms and your houses and thought, "Hey! Here's a normal place with normal people."

And we both stepped on pumpkins!

Yeah, a-and then we heard the music from the barn, and, well, uh... H-how about we just leave?

EEnoch

Now let me get this straight. You come to our town, you trample our crops, you interrupt our private engagement... and now you want to leave?

[nervously] Uh... yes.

You'll never convict! You have no proof! [the Elder Pumpkin holds Beatrice in his straw hands]

EPElder Pumpkin

This one's trying to escape!

Let me go! I don't know these clowns!

EEnoch

Children, it saddens me that you don't wish to stay here with us, particularly because I simply have to punish you for your transgressions.

I told you this place was bad news!

EEnoch

So by order of the Pottsfield chamber of commerce, I find you guilty of trespassing, destruction of property, [lowers itself down to approach Wirt and Greg closely] disturbing the peace, [darkly] and murder.

[shocked] Murder?!

EEnoch

[chuckles] Oh, no, not murder. But for those other crimes, I sentence you to... a few hours of manual labor.

[surprised] Wait, what? Really? That's it?

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[singing] Oh, potatoes and molasses

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LMr. Langtree

[bursting into the room] That's enough!

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Um, Beatrice, w-why are you pretending I'm this guy's nephew?

We need money.

You're scamming him?

I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.

What? No way.

Why not? We already stole a horse.

FFred

Hey, guys.

No, we didn't. Fred's a talking horse. He can do whatever he wants.

FFred

I want to steal.

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But, well, I-I have this crush on this girl.

Mmm-hmm.

That's all.

That's all?

And I think about her lot, and I play clarinet.

Wirt! You've got to be kidding me.

And I secretly whisper poetry to myself in my room at night.

Wirt, That stuff's not weird. Those are just--[sighs]--well, the poetry thing is weird.

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[singing] Oh, we're going to the Pasture to meet Adelaide and ask her if she has a way to send us back where we came from.

[singing] But as for where she is, she is where we will go.

BBoth

To Adelaide, to Adelaide. C'mon and join the Adelaide Parade. Adelaide, To Adelaide. We're going to Adelaide's house today.

Boy. Finally going home.

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Wirt, drum me!

Okay.

[open his eyes] Are we good?

[breathes deeply] I think so.

Wirt, sometimes you have to face your problems. Turn yourself in and get kicked off this boat.

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Oh no. Beatrice, I'm too young to go to frog jail. [Whimpers]

Hey, why don't you play the bassoon?

That'll get us kicked off this boat for sure.

[Gasps in shock] No, Greg's right. You should play it. Go ahead. You'll do fine. You play instruments, right?

Yeah, but bassoon and clarinet are way different.

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Adelaide, we need to talk.

AAdelaide

Did you bring me what I asked for?

I found two brothers lost in the woods, but I can't give them to you, Adelaide. They need to go home.

AAdelaide

Nonsense! I'll give them a wonderful home here.

That's what you said, but--

AAdelaide

Can't you see I'm sick and helpless? [Imitating coughing] Ah-choo! I'm all alone in the world. I want a child servant.

Servant? I thought you just wanted some yard work done.

AAdelaide

Our arrangement was for you to bring me a child servant and then I give you the scissors... To snip, snip, snip your family's wings away to make them human again.

What if I became your servant?

AAdelaide

Ha! I need a big strong child!

You can turn me into a human, can you?

AAdelaide

Oh yes--scissors!