No Ordinary Family quotes

Jim Powell

When was the last time we did something as a family?

Daphne Powell

Last month when you forced us to play charades, and then you pulled out your back, miming some scene from "Iron Man."

Jim Powell

That was an old sports injury I re-aggravated.

JJ Powell

Who are you texting now?

Daphne Powell

God.

Katie Andrews

Thanks to your increased metabolic rate, your life is like a never-ending spin class. So despite the need for massive caloric intake, you're gonna be a size zero for the rest of your life. I hate you.

JJ Powell

What's going on? Oh. Talking about your new, cool powers. Well, keep me updated on the costume design.

George

(as he was helping Jim to his feet after had run him over for the fifth time with a car) Okay, shake it off. Shake it off. Cool. Nobody ever saw what Superman's first day on the job looked like.

Stephanie

The problem isn't about the powers. The problem is about Jim, husband and father of two, is out there using his powers to face hardened criminals, which is in my estimation...

Katie

...so frickin' cool! He's out there on the street and he's kickin' ass...like Batman.

Stephanie

Too bad you already took your shower. I was going to ask you to join me.

Jim

Well, I might not be as fast as you are, but there are some things I'll still make time for.

Katie

Now at the bottom of the stairs is another guard, Sal. He enjoys gas station burritos, conservative talk radio, and staring at your boobs when he thinks you won't notice. Which again, at your speed, won't be a problem.

Stephanie

Jim, I love this ring.

Jim

When I bought it for you, I was an artist barely getting by. The only ring I could afford was the smallest, ugliest ring in the store.

Stephanie

It's not ugly.

Jim

When I got down on my knee and I proposed, you looked at it and you said, "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." And I knew--I knew right then I had the right girl. And every time I see it on your finger, I know you love me for who I am. And I love you for the beauty you see in ordinary things.

Katie

I don't get it. You used to complain that Jim didn't have anything in his life. Now that he finally has a thing, you're going to complain about that?

Stephanie

I was hoping it'd be a hobby, like model airplanes or stamp collecting.

Katie

Oh, trust me, you do not want to be with a stamp collector. Their fingers are sticky, and their tongues are always dry.

George

Okay, you're gonna talk to him, feel him out. The thing criminals love to do is talk about themselves. Make him comfortable, you get him to open up. Same idea as when you were single--think of it as a blind date, but with a sociopath.

George

It's part of your Jim-ness. you... you see the world the way you are. I see the world, too. You know what I see? Robbery, Rape, robbery, murder. Take it from me, as an attorney, people suck. Even the people who don't appear to suck at first glance...

Jim

Suck?

George

Yeah.

What am I gonna do? My life is over. We used protection and everything.

JJ

It's not that bad. It's gonna be okay. Condoms are only effective 98% of the time. If women are fertile 37 to 42 percent of the time, application of standard deviation actually raises your odds of pregnancy to...

JJ...

JJ

Yeah, buddy?

Stop trying to make me feel better, man.

Stephanie

I saw something tonight. A huge chasm. Two sides so far apart. Families--I mean, we start as a unit together, united. And over time, life happens, people change, and pretty soon, you're so far apart you can't even see the person you're sitting next to at dinner. That's what happened to me and my parents. That table might as well have been the Grand Canyon. But they don't really know who we are. But... part of that's because we haven't let them. There are a lot of things I can run away from, Jim, but I can't... run away from who we are.

Jim

So what do we do?

Stephanie

Maybe it's time to stop running.

Stephanie Powell

Well, uh, on a completely unrelated note, J.J. needs...

Katie Andrews

To tutor him. I knew it was just a matter of time before you realized he needed some more intellect simulation.

Stephanie Powell

And you don't mind?

Katie Andrews

I was gonna suggest it. I mean, this might be my only chance to tutor a-a burgeoning Lex Luthor or oh, even, say, a young Reed Richards. Okay, work might not be the only reason I'm single.