Katie Andrews quotes from No Ordinary Family

Katie Andrews

Thanks to your increased metabolic rate, your life is like a never-ending spin class. So despite the need for massive caloric intake, you're gonna be a size zero for the rest of your life. I hate you.

Katie

Now at the bottom of the stairs is another guard, Sal. He enjoys gas station burritos, conservative talk radio, and staring at your boobs when he thinks you won't notice. Which again, at your speed, won't be a problem.

Katie

Okay, so I always had a crush on Wolverine, but I never thought about what would happen if I actually married Wolverine and if we had little wolvie babies. I mean, if we had kids, do you think they would have superpowers? Because the terrible twos would be much terribler with telekinesis.

Katie

Okay, someone or something tried to attack me--a man, but with claws. And not like hot Wolverine, but like scary. wild animal claws.

Stephanie

The problem isn't about the powers. The problem is about Jim, husband and father of two, is out there using his powers to face hardened criminals, which is in my estimation...

Katie

...so frickin' cool! He's out there on the street and he's kickin' ass...like Batman.

Katie

I don't get it. You used to complain that Jim didn't have anything in his life. Now that he finally has a thing, you're going to complain about that?

Stephanie

I was hoping it'd be a hobby, like model airplanes or stamp collecting.

Katie

Oh, trust me, you do not want to be with a stamp collector. Their fingers are sticky, and their tongues are always dry.

Stephanie Powell

Well, uh, on a completely unrelated note, J.J. needs...

Katie Andrews

To tutor him. I knew it was just a matter of time before you realized he needed some more intellect simulation.

Stephanie Powell

And you don't mind?

Katie Andrews

I was gonna suggest it. I mean, this might be my only chance to tutor a-a burgeoning Lex Luthor or oh, even, say, a young Reed Richards. Okay, work might not be the only reason I'm single.

Stephanie Powell

I thought we were a team.

Katie Andrews

Of course you do - team Stephanie! But even though there's no "I" in team, there's a big "I" in Stephanie. And there's a "PH," which we both know in chemistry, is a measure of acidity.

Katie

Okay, so have you ever had somebody look at you, and it's like they are looking directly into your pre-frontal cortex?

Katie

That's a valid diagnosis. I do have all the classic symptoms--anxiety, uneasiness, dread.

Stephanie

Well, that's not how you're supposed to feel when you're in love.

Katie

Well in my case, it is. Because love leads to commitment. And commitment leads to intimacy. And intimacy... has.. proven to be somewhat uncharted territory.

Stephanie

Katie, are you saying that you're still a...?

Katie

Yes. Okay, so back in high school, I decided that I was gonna wait for "The One," like Morpheus for Neo in The Matrix, but with sexual relations.