Nip/Tuck quotes

349 total quotes



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Dr. Sagamore: Six figures isn't doing it for you anymore?
Sean: I want to be of service. I left my practice, my wife, my son and daughter. I always thought I'd die without them but I didn't. I'm alive. Alive with nothing to live for.
Dr. Sagamore: Could you speak up? It's hard to hear through all those violins.

Erica: [to Matt] I don't care what kind of sex you have or with whom. But if you're so appalled by your own feelings that you deny their existence, they'll run your tight little ass for the rest of your repressed middle-brow life. Do you want a safe life or an authentic one?

Erica: That's the beauty of youth. There are no mistakes, just research.

Gina: [amazed by the medical propertes of semen] That's unbelievable! My entire life I thought there was a psychological reason why I'm a sex addict--turns out I was just jonesin' for jizz.

Gina: [concerned about a potential lawsuit from Joan Rivers] Look on the bright side. The tabloids will go nuts. 'Spa Trio Gives Jizz To Joan'. We'll be famous. Well, she'll be famous, we'll be stoned in the streets.

Gina: [to Christian, who is repairing her carved face] Don't screw this up, asshole. I'm planning to get a book-deal out of this and I don't want to look like the Joker on my dust jacket.

Joan Rivers: Don't think of me as a celebrity. Think of me as a familiar face that changes every couple years.

Joan Rivers: Ladies. Time is money. And at my age, inflation is a bitch.

Joy Kringle: With childhood obesity rates the way they are today, fat is not an image we want to promote any more. [Edit] It's our sincere hope that by the time your kids have kids, Doctor, Santa will no longer be thought of as the fat man. He'll be trim, tight and a little bit sexy.

Julia: [talking to the body identified as Erica] I forgive you for not loving me. It's Okay. I didn't love you either. I just craved your approval like it was somehow possible to get. I saved a life tonight, Mother. Well, two lives actually. A stranger's and my own.

Julia: [to Sean and Christian] So much water under the bridge. And here we are. Still standing. Still pretty fantastic. Let's toast us. To survival with grace.

Julia: My fears about Sean turned into the need to find out if you were really the one.
Christian: Theres still something. Someting unresolved between us. After all these years.
Julia: Sleeping together didn't resolve anything. We simply made a mistake that many people paid dearly for.

Julia: Semen's an anti-depressant. It has mood-altering hormones in it. I read about it.
Liz: Didn't do a thing for me.

Julia: With all due respect you know more about the different classes of tequila than you do parenting.
Christian: I know enough to know that the pound wouldn't give either of you a 10 year old mutt covered in shit right now.

Julia: Your mom's a baseball fan?
Natalie: Nah. She's just an ex-Catholic who believes God speaks to us through the Red Sox.
Julia: What's God trying to say?
Natalie: Miracles happen. Believe in someone enough and they'll surprise you.