2nd most-quoted character in Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica: in 12 of its 24 quotes
Most scenes with: Jessica Simpson (12), Drew (2)
Scenes with Nick Lachey 12
Is this chicken I have or is it fish? I know it's tuna, but it says chicken... by the sea... is that stupid?
What?! Don’t make fun of me right now; I’m not in the mood.
Nick
You act like you’ve never had tuna before.
I’ve had tuna fish, like, sandwiches and stuff, like this...
Nick
Baby, you and I have eaten tuna like this before.
Why is it called "Chicken by the Sea" or "in the Sea"?
Nick
"Chicken of the Sea" is the brand.
Nick
You know, 'cause a lot of people eat tuna, it's like a lot of people eat chicken? So it's like the chicken of the sea.
Okay. I understand now. I was-I read it wrong... [giggles]
I just wanna lay here and like watch a movie or something, 'cause I'm so tired...
Nick
There might be a basketball game in a little bit...
No, I said watch a movie.
Nick
There might be a basketball game in a little bit...
No, I said watch a movie.
Nick
That's like a movie...
JSJessica's mom
It can't be.
Nick
There's all kinds of drama in basketball...
Well, I mean-I mean, if Teen Wolf was on, I'd watch that.
Nick
Well, you can watch a movie, I'll go next door with the dancers, and we'll watch basketball.
JSJessica's mom
Ohhhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhhh, that's so good!
Nick
They love watching basketball with me.
Isn't it plat-a-ma-pus, or is it platypus?
Nick
It's not a plat-a-ma-pus, it's a platypus.
Oh, I always thought it was a platypus; I always thought it was plat-a-ma-pus.
Nick
That's something else.
[referring to the buffalo wings on the table] Try these?
It's not buffalo, you idiot! Oh my god...
Well, it's-then, why do they call it buffalo wings?
Nick
Baby, come on, you know it.
'Cause barbecue wings started in Buffalo, or something like that... You don't find it weird that buffaloes don't have wings?
Nick
Don't remind me!
What does it mean when you take a really big breath and it hurts? [inhales big] It hurts really bad right here.
Nick
It means you shouldn't talk for a day and a half.
Nick
Oh, I'm sorry.
You'll mess up my cleavage.
Nick
Impossible.
Nick
Do you remember, right after we got married - I tried to get some in the car and you weren't having it?
Well, no! I wanted my first time to be in a bed. You think I'd wait that long and then go at it in a car? Ew.
Why don't you open the car door for me anymore? At the begining of our marriage, you were so eager to open the door for me.
Nick
Because at the beginning of our marriage, I got laid.
Well, I'm gonna take a shower. And wash off everybody's foot jam.
Nick
[snickers] Foot- foot jam?
Yeah, I mean, I was in a pool of water all day long that everybody's feet was in.
Nick
Isn't it toe jam?
You know what I did in 7th grade history? The history teacher was asking people if they knew all the continents, and I was so excited; I was like, "Damn it, it's the first day of 7th grade, I'm in junior high, and I know this answer!", and I raised my hand; I was the first one, and I said, "A-E-I-O-U!"
Nick
Mind you, those aren't even consonants! They're vowels!
Nick
[reacting with surprise and shock after Drew tells him that Jessica had just stunk up the bathroom really bad] Jessica-it was Jessica?!
[nods his head with amusement and points to Jessica with his thumb] She's there... [walks away laughing]
Nick
Baby, what did you do...? I was-I just thought Drew farted out here... oh my gosh... [he and Jessica head for the bathroom while Jessica giggles in amusement and tries to act innocent] Turn this-there's a fan; turn the fan on!
[not wanting to take responsibility for the smell] But baby, I didn't see any fan in there!
Nick
[after inhaling the smell directly at its source] OH MY GOD!!!!! Oh-ho... [Nick and Jessica turn around and quickly head away from the bathroom; Jessica giggles while Nick holds his nose and slams the bathroom door behind them, and then walks back into the foyer while gagging and gasping for air, and then points the finger of shame at Jessica] You should be ashamed of yourself!
[proud of the nasty smell she produced in the bathroom and amused at Nick's reaction to it] I don't feel good.
Nick
Obviously, I don't either anymore... [Jessica playfully slaps Nick on his arm] God... [points in the direction of where Drew just went off to] I just thought I asked Drew if he farted; he was like "you sure you didn't?"! [grossed out, embarrassed, and astonished that his wife could produce such an awful smell, he bends over and puts his head down] Mmmmmm...
Nick
Open that door and open this one; good God!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica · 24 quotes
