Sebastian's a connoisseur of conspiracy theories.
Well they're not conspiracies, okay? They're discernments. Just wait until I show you how the fake moon landing fits in with why we haven't found Bigfoot yet.
S1 E4The Recruits
WWolf
We fought cause I called his girlfriend what she is: a whore.
This her?
WWolf
That's her. Natalie..someone. Two words: hook-er.
What's going on in there?
Chill and spill. Chill out over food, spill what you know.
Alright. I'll speak to Blake's Master Chief, find out more about Blake and that mission in Somalia.
King, you know how SEALS don't like anyone poking in their business. Especially NCIS.
I'll use my gentle face.
Ballistic fingerprinting began when scientist Alexandre Lacassagne matched an individual bullet to the inside of a gun barrel. He realized that the imperfections inside made every gun unique and special. Not unlike the imperfections of a snowflake.
[Softly, with a nostalgic look in his eye]
Or a toddler with a large nose whose mother still loves him.
[Brody and LaSalle exchange looks]
Right. Moving on.
S1 E5It Happened Last Night
Great storyteller. I mean he tells me a beauty.
About?
About you.
Well a - I don't have anything to hide. And b - you should mind your own damned business.
Well a - everyone has something to hide. And b - he offered it up. I didn't even have to ask. And c - since you don't seem to like to divulge, I was all ears.
I broke up with James.
Why?
He was too interested and available for my tastes.
Since when is available a problem?
He's never been married, Dwayne. Any man his age who has never made a serious commitment, sends up red flags.
Loretta - you're his age. You've never been married either.
This is why I like the dead. They don't call me on my hypocrisy.
Bad timing?
Oh, not at all. I was just trying an experiment in weight distribution. Someone once said to me "always expect the unexpected". Unfortunately it was my urologist and that is not someone you want to hear that from.
MMorgan
That's Jessica Flint, biggest gossip in uptown. You would think that between her husband having an affair and her gambling issues, Jessica would be more discreet. I work at Harrah's; I deal blackjack. I see that woman there all the time.
So much for minding your own business.
You never played mailbox baseball?
I grew up in the city. The only mailbox was in the lobby of our building. That would have been awkward.
S1 E6Master of Horror
[to Councilman Hamilton] It'd be a shame to cuff your ass in front of all these registered voters.
If Judge Hermann had someone in her courtroom whose reflection doesn't show up in a mirror, they're suspect number one!
[Their victim was found in a cemetery] It gives a whole new meaning to 'graveyard shift', right?
The bacon's not to eat - it's my costume! The Baconator: half bacon, half Terminator. [imitating Arnold Schwarzenegger] I'll be back fat.
S1 E7Watch Over Me
No matter how quiet and gentle a soul, you get 'em behind a wheel and suddenly they revert to the most base and primal.
I know - I've driven with you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS: New Orleans pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.