Do we get a safety word?
What do you think?
I was hoping for a yes.
This isn't one of your bondage sessions, Deeks.
She's kidding, but if you hear me yell noodles that means I'm in trouble.
If I hear you yell noodles, I'm gonna shoot you myself.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I cannot wait to retire.
You know, you actually got to do some work before you can retire from something, Deeks.
Just gonna sit on that beach with my dog, Monty Junior, Junior. You know, just checking out the lady birds in their bikinis.
See, you're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Preach it Sister!
Promise me you'll never do that.
What's that?
Get yourself killed.
Well the good news for you is I have a natural aversion at death so...
I'm not kidding.
Ok.
(to Kensi) You smell like sunshine and gunpowder...two of my favorite things.
Eww. You're like wet dog.
SSnyder
He also likes blondes.
All right, I will wear a wig, but I will not dye my hair for this man.
SSabatino
Wouldn't help. You're not his type.
[Long pause] What's his type?
[Snyder and Sabatino smirk and look at Deeks]
No. Really?... Come on!
Wonder what it would be like-- you, me, Red Team...
Unbearable.
...working together.
We're supposed to be working an unsolved murder case in which the victim was shot in the back of the head with a low-velocity round, Deeks.
Living together. Me walking in on you in the shower. Or the bunk room. You walking in on me in the shower. Or the bunk room.
You walking in on Sam or Hetty.
Who invited them?
We're a team, aren't we?
Yeah. No, two people can be a team.
Mm. How many case files have you reviewed?
Seven.
Mm?
Almost.
33.
33?!
(phone ringing)
Get on it!
(clearing his throat) Detective Marty Deeks, Cold Case Division. (laughs) Oh. Yes. Hi... Hetty. Yes. No, we're... Right now? Ops on the double.
We'll take the bikini bar.
What? We will?
I don't like to see him beg. And plus, he would mope all the way to Point Mugu if we didn't.
This is fantastic news, but I don't beg.
Oh, you beg.
I definitely don't mope. 'Cause you're the moper. You're, like, Mopey Dick
Look, I am taking a leap here with this babysitting thing. It would be really nice to have my partner there to back me up. That is, if he takes me up on it.
You want to play house?
They want to play house, Sam. At your house, when you're not there.
Oh, yeah? I have nanny cams. Everywhere.
That's okay, 'cause I do some of my best work on camera.
Oh, thank you for an image I will never be able to get out of my head.
Our boy got a briefcase.
Lap top probably inside.
What are the chances of getting that away from him long enough to access the computer?
Creating a distraction and grabbing the case 10 seconds, breaking the combination if it's locked another 20, copying the files 2 minutes.
Outsmarting the bad guys?
Priceless!
(referring to Callen and Hetty) Yeah, you two are cut from the same cloth.
Hardly. Hetty is, uh, hand-painted silk. I'm more of a--
Itchy polyester?
I was gonna say denim.
Well-worn denim.
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
(phone rings)
MMonica
Yeah? Hello? Hello?
I think they hung up. [flashing her badge] NCIS.
MMonica
What?
Too many letters? Federal agent.
MMonica
[tries to run but gets into a fist fight with Kensi] Back off, bitch. I mean it. [fight continues]
Freeze!
MMonica
Max, what are you doing? Shoot her!
Sorry, honey, he's with me. And his real name is Marty Deeks, and he's a cop, and he's my partner. Who's the bitch now?
MMonica
He is.
Can't argue with that.
That whole motherland thing's overrated. I mean, look at me. I come from a line of blood-feuding gypsies who keep trying to kill me. How's that justice?
I was just going to see if you were good.
Yeah. You?
I mean, I'm good if you are good.
I'm good.
Okay, good. We're good. Which is, you know... great.
Glad we cleared that up.
(Deeks is looking at Kensi after he kissed her)
How's that for communication?
MMichelle
Isaak! You sent Barbies after me? I hate Barbies. I used to pull their heads off when I was a kid.
SSidorov
How did you find me?
MMichelle
A Barbie told me. Right before I pulled her head off.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS: Los Angeles pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.