TV show quotes
Characters
Joe DominguezCheech Marin · 32 quotes
Nash BridgesDon Johnson · 31 quotes
Harvey LeekJeff Perry · 9 quotes
Evan CortezJaime P. Gomez · 7 quotes
Lisa BridgesAnnette O'Toole · 5 quotes
BCBarry Chen4 quotes
Bryn CarsonMary Mara · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Joe Dominguez & Nash Bridges (19), Nash Bridges & Lisa Bridges (4), Joe Dominguez & Barry Chen (3)
You know, I remember a time when I used to make you laugh. Now all I do is piss you off. Why is that?
You want the whole laundry list?
[Nash's face twists into a dreading expression]
Starting with A for anniversaries you missed or where your pager went off. Or we can go to B for booze. Or we can jump right to W for women. You know, you should take a good look at your own life before you come over here passing judgement on mine!
I thought you were retired, Joe.
[about Lisa and Nash] Why sit at home and watch Jerry Springer when I can see all that stuff live?
This is a nice ride. I've never seen a car like this. What is it?
This is a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda. The reason you've never seen one is because they only made 14 of them.
[Joe was working traffic because something with his pension got screwed up]
Care to tell us what happened, Joe?
Who cares if his father's a president of the San Francisco bank?
Humor me. I care.
Let me get this straight - you pepper-sprayed him for illegal parking?
Yes.
[Nash laughs]
He came at me. And I exhausted all proper procedures, A.J.
[smirking] I'm sorry I missed that one.
He comes at me saying he knows Kung Fu and that crap. He went down in flames like a twelve o'clock high.
Oooh, you bad. [Laughs again]
And that's when he twisted his knee. The funny thing is, he'll probably get a disabled placard now.
[Nash is now laughing hard]
Are you two through yet? The I.R. went straight to the chief. And you, carnal, have the distinction of being the only cop I know of ever to get kicked out of traffic.
[Nash laughs]
What about my pension? What about my hog? I kinda liked it.
Your hog? Forget your Harley!
[Nash laughs]
The chief made me take you back.
Oh, no!
Got anything out at the airport? Unloading/loading that kinda thing?
You wish. No. We got you back all to ourselves.
Don't you run from me! Sid, you son of a bitch! Sid, I got a rule: anybody I have to chase more than fifty yards gets an ass whoopin'!
So, Evan, when you actually catch a thief, how can you tell if he's actually telling the truth?
Ah, I don't know, I guess it comes from experience, wouldn't you say, Harv? when you learn to read body language, you know, the look in somebody's eye, the tone of their voice, the small gesture, that kind of thing... give a lot away.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sometimes the signals are so obvious you'd have to be a fool to miss 'em. [as Evan is oblivious to the strong signals of attraction Cassidy is sending]
Look at them, you'd think they'd never seen a Mexican in a space suit before.
[after having been possibly infected by a deadly virus] Just out of curiosity, doctor, what are thee, ah, symptoms of this infection?
After seventy-two hours you get rapidly-rising fever, mental disorientation, um, accumulation of fluid in the lungs, ah, disintegration of the neural system, rhenal and colon failure, liquidation on the internal intestinal membranes, and death within thirty-six hours.
Oh, good, you had me worried there for a minute.
There's a very good reason you didn't recognize the shell casing: it's very rare and made in limited-run by a small German firm and Interpol confirms this is the Monk's bullet du jour.
Ah, you wanna handle this one?
I don't know. A man on a cable car with a set of wings holding a hand grenade... this is your thing, isn't it?
You realize what just happened?
[as they all hide behind a car from a rooftop assassin] Yeah - somebody's trying to kill us.
I found you just like I was supposed to.
What? What the hell you talking about?
I'm your guardian angel.
Oh, great - we could use one.
[to Joe] I said I was his guardian angel; you, you're on your own.
:[as a suspicious man pushing an ice cream cart approaches then, after just earlier missing multiple assassins] Freeze, bubba, right there!
[after reaching down into the cart] Who? Me?
You. Take it out real slow.
[after pulling out a popsicle] If you don't want cherry, I got root beer.
[after putting his gun down] No, I'll take cherry.
I'll take root beer. Unless you got a fudgesicle.
I dated a shrink once.
Yeah, so did I.
Oh, yeah? Well maybe it was the same guy.
So, I had this dream the other night, right? And in this dream I get save from drowning... by David Hasselhoff. Is that normal?
[laughing] It could mean many things.
Here's what throws me: A guy like Evan goes on a security-duty and spends two minutes schmoozing with Lisa Bridges - Nash's ex - Nash Bridges, acting lieutenant of S.I.U. and next thing you know he's got a full-on romance going on with her.
A full-on romance?
Yeah, that's what I hear.
Sounds like you're envious.
Envious? No. You know that scene in Star Wars where that sand creature takes a thousand years to digest a guy? That's humane compared to what Nash would do if he caught Evan sleeping with his ex.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Nash Bridges pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.