SSuzy
Is Frankie here?
BBeth
Frankie's not here.
Frankie goes to Hollywood.
S6The Skydivers
BBeth
Would you like some coffee?
JMJoe Moss
Coffee?
CACrow [as Joe]
What is this "coffee"?
JMJoe Moss
[stiltedly] I like coffee!
BBeth
Well, good!
And thus we peer into the complex inner workings of this character.
. . .
[Beth and Joe walk across the airfield]
SAServo [as Joe]
Where is it, your "coffee"?
[The plane Beth is in starts to malfunction before it even leaves the ground]
CCrow
Terror at Sea-level.
[giggling] More terrifying than Airport '77!
[Harry pulls his hugely coiffed wife Beth out of the malfunctioning plane.]
What happened?
MAMike [as Beth]
I saw my hair in the mirror and I panicked!
[Beth looks on as Harry [played by Tony Cardoza] straps on a parachute in what appears to be the middle of a desert field.]
MAMike [as Beth]
Uh, I think you'll need the plane, too, Tony.
Bob, you ready?
BBob
[off-camera] Sure, Harry!
[Cut to a parachuted man making his way out from the back of a deep hangar.]
Wait! He- he- he was there, and now we g-- the plane was--!
[sputters unintelligibly]
CCrow
Someone with attention deficit disorder edited this film.
. . .
[A helmeted Harry climbs into the unmarked, unnumbered white plane.]
CCrow
What's the point of a helmet in skydiving? In case you land on your head?
Generic Plane. Cheaper than other planes.
. . .
[Poofy-haired Beth watches Harry take off.]
CCrow
Honey, even if a hairstyle is "in," it may not be the right one for you...
[Harry carries Suzy, wearing a hooded white beach robe and opaque sunglasses, from her boat to her boat-like convertible.]
Enjoy this tribute to white, white bodies.
. . .
SAServo [as Suzy]
I need to get out of the sun to maintain my fishbelly-white complexion.
SSuzy
Will I see you tomorrow?
MAMike [as Harry]
Uh, you have to ask the editor.
[monotone] No... not tomorrow.
CACrow [as Harry]
I have a headache... tomorrow.
[Inside a rather dark room, Beth lights a candle on a small dinner table.]
Ah, she's setting up for a séance.
CCrow
They're going to invoke the spirit of the continuity man.
. . .
MAMike [as Harry]
Dinner isn't white enough, honey.
And Frankie, if I ever catch you around here again, I'll break both your legs.
MAMike [as Frankie]
What if I don't bring 'em with me?
BBernie
I feel real free in that wild blue sky.
CACrow [as Bernie]
Cops can't touch me up there.
BBernie
...Feels good, making like a bird, floating around up there.
MAMike [as Bernie]
Poopin' on people.
[After half an hour of mumbled dialog and uneventful skydiving...]
Seems like they forgot to have things happen in this movie.
[As Harry departs, Beth walks up to his friend Joe. The coveralled pair exchanges a meaningful look.]
CCrow
Two zips and we're naked!
[Of Suzy's dimwitted, pliable paramour, Frankie...]
CCrow
He's like an idiot savant--minus the savant.
SSuzy
Well, Frankie, are you chicken?
MAMike [as Frankie]
Uh, let me see... am I a chicken? Well I don't have a comb, or a gizzard, but sometimes I do ingest gravel to grind my food and my--uh...
[Suzy and Frankie sneak into the hangar, where white skydiving helmets peek out between folded chutes.]
Oh, no! The skydivers have been laying their huge eggs!
[The crowd applauds as the night divers arrive to board their plane.]
This isn't The Right Stuff; it's just... some stuff.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.