TV show quotes
[Claire takes a reluctant Dr. Hedges to a pier after answering about two dozen stupid questions from him.]
Now what's going on?
Who's that other guy?
Where are we going?
What is this fluid under my feet?
What happened to the day-ball?
Let's chip in and buy this movie a life.
[On the creek bottom, Bob Hedges finds the chest containing the dead cat.]
Hey! They whacked Toonces!
Well, he killed a made canary, so they had to do 'im.
Think, Bob. Throughout human history, what has been the first activity of explorers of any new region?
Genocide?
Slavery?
Diseased blanket spreading?
[Bob Hedges, Claire, and her father have some time to kill while waiting for Victor's test results.]
Is there a good movie in town?
[snorts] Now we get to watch people watching a movie? What is that all about?
Heh heh heh!
[Mike and Crow consider what they're saying.]
Oh.
[Victor packs a suitcase and leaves the house]
I'm goin' to the city to be a stud.
Please! That's a hideous thought.
This is the same sumptuously detailed set that was later used in The Age of Innocence!
Or was it Sense and Sensibility?
I think it was Barfly.
Yeah, that's it.
[At the carnival, Lombardi talks about his assistant Andrea with Johnny the barker.]
I knew her when she was a carnival follower. Every time we'd hit a town, she'd be there, waiting for us.
So she's a carnival preceder.
[Dr. Erickson chats with Andrea, who noticeably fills out her tight-fitting top.]
Maybe we could talk about it over a cup of coffee.
I'd like that.
Would you like a C cup or a D cup of coffee?
[Lombardi hypnotizes Andrea back to her "Elizabeth" former life. Fellow hypnotist Erickson (played by Lance Fuller) questions her.]
My first question: will I get the part in This Island Earth?
What year is it, Andrea?
[singing] The year of the cat.
1618, the Year of Our Lord.
In 'artford, 'ereford, and 'ampshire.
Who is the reigning monarch?
James Stuart.
Now, wait a second. You're crazy, and you're driving me crazy, too!
[Lombardi forces King the dog to back away simply by staring at him.]
There aren't many who can control an animal by hypnosis, are there, Doctor?
No.
He did what I told him without a single word.
That's because he's a dog!
[As Dr. Erickson looks out over the beach, large flipper-like footprints appear mysteriously in the sand.]
[gasps] Donald Duck has the Ring of Power!
...
Frodo goes snorkling!
[A poster for Dr. Lombardi's show features a picture of him, serious and unsmiling]
See his lecture series, "Let A Smile Be Your Calling Card."
[To keep the Observers at bay so Pearl and Bobo can escape, the Nanites place a Number 7 move on the planet below]
Say, what's a Number 7? [the planet explodes]
Mike, you blew up another planet! What is your deal?
I just told them to take care of a little problem!
And they did! Here comes Mike- Destroyer of Worlds!
Oh God of Fire and Vengeance... stay away from me!
[The creature has just mortally attacked Lombardi as blank-faced Dr. Erickson looks on:]
Well, mmm, gosh, I, mmm... Hmm. Uh...
...
[Erickson continues to emote incomprehensibly:]
Fear? Elation? What is it?
...
Despair? Love? Joy? Tell us!
...
Concern? Passion? Hunger? What, Lance?
...
Ennui? Angst? Apathy? Gas?
...
Cold? Jubilant? Headache-y?
His emotional memory is the previous scene.
Man, if ever I wanted to put a movie into a stump grinder, this is the one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
