[Cut to some vegetation, then we see the thief taking random pictures. Bean appears from the left, holding a rubbish bin, and quickly cages him down with it]
"Camera thief!"
All S1
S1 E4Mr. Bean Goes To Town
SShopkeeper
"Yes? Can I help you, sir?"
"Can I have this, please?"
SShopkeeper
"Certainly, sir." [He goes off-screen, then back with the other pair] "There you are, sir, size nine."
"No, but I only want the one."
SShopkeeper
"No, no, they come as two"
"One."
SShopkeeper
"I have to sell them as two shoes." [The car with Bean's shoe appears behind Bean. He goes after it. He goes down the street and stops the car, bumping him in the process. Bean comes up back again holding the shoe]
"Thank you!"
[Cut to a flashing neon sign, it says "CLUB PHUT", zoom out to reveal the entrance and Irma standing]
"Oh, I'm sorry I'm late; I got..." [They both get in the club, but not after Bean hits the sign's power source, the sign glows brightly and then dims, the audience laughs]
[Cut to a magic show, then cut to Bean and Irma sitting down. Drumroll]
MMagician
"Now, please, can I have one volunteer from the audience?"
[to the waitress] "Oh!" [raises his hand to her]
MMagician
"Ah, we have a gentleman here." [The spotlight points at Bean] "Please, come here."
"I wanted the waitress. The waitress..." [Bean and the magician enter the stage, then the magician pulls out Bean's handkerchief from his vest] "Give that back!" [He snatches it from the magician, but he takes it again then returns it. The magician puts his hand inside of Bean's vest, pulling out a bouquet of flowers]
[The magician takes Bean's watch and using the cloth and a hammer, he "crushes" the watch inside the cloth. He pushes the cloth, revealing confetti. He present's Bean's watch again, undamaged and throws it up in the air. As the magician is doing some card tricks, Bean is walking around the stage, messing with the magician's equipment. After the card trick is done, drumroll. The assistant guides Bean to the next trick]
"I'm looking for my watch. It fell down here..."
[The assistant puts Bean into a magic box]
"Where is--"
[The magician closes the magic box with the square slot. Bean opens the slot, revealing his face.]
[to the magician] "Excuse me, I'm looking for my watch!"
[The magician immediately shuts the slot. His assistant throws him a sword. He proves the audience that the swords are real and thrusts them at the box.]
MOMan on audience
"Behind you!"
[Meanwhile, Mr. Bean is already outside the box and tries to find his watch. Several cuts between Bean and Irma. The magician thrusts more swords into the box]
AMAnother man on audience
"Boo!"
[Mr. Bean finds his watch behind the magician's pants, cut to table where Irma was sitting, she disappears. Mr. Bean runs out from the stage, from to the room. Crowd boos. The magician comes out from the room with a sword in hand, but cannot find Mr. Bean, who is in the disco room.]
[In the disco room, Bean tries to dance with Irma, but she leaves her alone, and another man dances with him. Bean tries many times to get the man out of Bean's girlfriend, which succeeds at the end, then Bean talks with the disc jockey]
"Do you think you..., could you change it into something a bit more..." [Music changes to a slow dance, as Bean checks on Irma, she is already dancing with the man, embracing each other. Audience laughs and sounds of disappointment. Bean leaves the disco room]
[Bean looks at the disco room one last time, more sounds of disappointment from the audience. As he leaves the club, Bean notices some power switches on the wall. He pushes one of them, turning off the lights in the disco room, much to the laughter and applause of the audience. He then leaves the club]
TTelevision
"England off to an attacking start in the second half, finding it very tough--" [As Bean passes the store, the televisions become static, then back again as he leaves] "...pushing, pushing. Here's..." [Credits roll, choir sings "Vale homo qui est faba..."]
[We see Bean's hand touching the glass of the store, putting all the televisions into static again. His hand leaves the glass, the televisions are normal again]
S1 E7Merry Christmas Mr. Bean
"Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean."
S1 E8Mr. Bean In Room 426
Thieves, everywhere!
Uh, Bean.
RReceptionist
Right. Would you like a pen, sir?
Oh, thank you very much.
MMatthew
Can I move your car, sir?
Oh...
RReceptionist
Good morning. If you like to check in, sir?
MMan
Thank you.
Oh, oh. British.
[Matthew returns the steering wheel of Bean's mini]
Ah, thank you very much.
[Matthew clears his throat, as if asking for a tip. Bean gives him some kind of candy or cough drop as a tip. Bean then examines a TV remote, thinking it's a phone.]
Hello? [Bean presses a button, the TV turns on to a football match, audience cheering]
AOAnnouncer on TV (first channel)
"I don't believe it!" [Bean turns off the TV, then turns it back on, audience on TV still cheers throughout] "Goodness me. I... What a response..." [Bean turns TV off, quickly turns it on] "Terrible, just..." [Bean turns TV off and on again, and again] "The crowd is..." (Bean changes the channel quickly, then stands near the wall while changing the channels]
M1Man 1 on TV (second channel)
"Get out of here!" [Bean changes the channel quickly]
AOAnnouncer on TV (first channel)
"The players are run--..." [Bean changes the channel]
COChorus on TV (fourth channel)
"Halleujah!" [Bean hides in the blanket while changing the channels]
MOMan on TV (fifth channel)
"Do you know what you are to me?"
COChorus on TV (fourth channel)
"Halleujah, hallelujah, hallelu--!"
MOMan on TV (fifth channel)
"...the whole town. A spring morning in Paris..." [Bean stands at the lobby, foot on door, while changing the channels. He lets go of his foot of the door, closing the door itself]
COChorus on TV (fourth channel)
"Halleujah, hallelujah! Hallelujah, ha--" [Bean changes the channel]
WOWoman on TV (fifth channel)
"That's my heart beating."
MOMan on TV (fifth channel)
"Does it go like a subway train?"
[Bean changes the channel, sports fans on first channel chanting while Bean walks a few steps, then changes the channel again, dances to some upbeat music from the TV, changes the channel once again]
M2Man 2 (second channel)
"Look, coming down off the hill!"
[Bean walks forward, western style]
M3Man 3 on TV (second channel)
"Hang on, Joe!"
[Bean changes the channel, like a cowboy shooting his revolver]
COChorus on TV (fourth channel)
"Hallelujah, hallelujah! For the Lord God omnipote--"
[A room neighbor comes out, Bean holds remote on his back]
[scoffs, knocks on own room door] Will you be quiet? [Turns off TV at "omnipotent"] Sorted him out.
[Neighbor returns to his room. Bean returns to his room, unpacks his case]
MMan
Uh, excuse me. I've got a bit of a problem. Could you...
RReceptionist
Certainly, sir. How can I help, sir?
MMan
Well, I left my watch in the bathroom, and now I can't open the door.
RReceptionist
Allow me to try, sir.
MMan
Must be jammed or something.
RReceptionist
Yes, very odd.
MMan
I don't understand. It was all right earlier.
RReceptionist
The lock's on the other side.
MMan
I need to get my watch back.
RReceptionist
I'm sorry, sir. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I'll get someone on to it right away.
MMan
Good.
RReceptionist
[to Bean] Morning.
[Bean knocks on neighbor's door, then runs to elevator, which is out of order.]
Aha! [Bean goes down the stairs, but is slowed down by an elderly woman. He goes round to the other staircase but gets stuck behind her again.]
WWoman
I don't think I'll be able to eat again for another year.
Ta-da! [Mr. Bean succeeds in overtaking her, but is slowed down again by an elderly man, holding two canes, in front of him]
MMan
Um, excuse me, are these all right? [The waiter smells the shellfish]
WWaiter
No, I do apologise, sir.
MMan
That's OK.
[The waiter smells the oyster tray, then is disgusted. Mr. Bean drops the shellfish from his hands]
Ah, so hot.
DLDanny La Rue
Thank you!
RReceptionist
Ah, that was marvellous, Mr. La Rue, marvellous. They love you!
DLDanny La Rue
Thank you, they always do, dear. Now how about just one more encore. One more. They deserve me, the darlings!
RReceptionist
OK, Matthew. Take Mr. La Rue's trunk to his car.
[clears throat] 426, please.
RReceptionist
Certainly, madam.
DLDanny La Rue
'Ere! That's my frock! [pulls an earring from Bean]
Ow!
S1 E9Do-It-Yourself Mr. Bean
[Rupert and Hubert have put the clock forward to midnight while Bean is out of the room so they can escape his dull New Year's Eve Party]
RHRupert and Hubert
Ah Happy New Year!
BBean
Goodness me. Doesn't time fly when you're enjoying yourself?
PPartygoers
(counting down from 10) ...3, 2, 1! Happy New Year! (singing Auld Lang Syne; Bean checks clock above fireplace and another on his cabinet)
PA Partygoer
Three cheers for Rupert and Hubert!
(Audience laughs, as Bean goes back to bed.)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mr. Bean pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.