You have a lot of time before you decide what you're going to do for a living. And when you do start working, it's not going to be as easy as just peeing into a Tupperware container. Working is a very hard, soul-numbing and joyless experience, son
Gosh, thanks for preparin' me for the future Dad, you're the best!
If I can make sure you're ready for the dead-end bleakness of adulthood, then I've done my job.
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